On Hiatus

I would like to thank you for your interest in my blog. Your continued support and feedback warms my heart. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year. In honor of the holidays, I will be taking a short break from writing to spend time with loved ones. I look forward to chatting with you more in 2009! See you then.

Lessons from the Baxters

Love, sex, prayer, sickness and adoption are just a few of the themes tackled in Karen Kingsbury's (with Gary Smalley) Redemption series of five books about the highs and lows of the Baxter family. I have been encapsulated by this fictional family.

What I love about these books is the wide range of topics discussed. I enjoyed the fact that this Christian family is far from perfect. They struggle with everything from their faith the fidelity. There are doubts about God's existence and fears about contracting HIV from an adulterous affair.

Kingsbury produced a masterful creation. You will fall in love with this family from the beginning and experience every emotion along with them. Stay tuned for much more on these incredible books.

Heaven on Earth

As I was snacking after work, our daughter asked what I was eating.
My response was, "a little piece of heaven." Our son then walked over
and said, "I want some." I gave him some of the Cashew Lovers
Poppycock that I was enjoying. He said, "Mmmm, heaven." I love children!

Sexperimentation

I recently became aware of a 7-day sex challenge recommended by Pastor Ed Young of Fellowship Church in Dallas, TX. What he proposed is that his married members participate in creative sex for seven days in a row and then take inventory of their relationship afterward.

The buzz this challenge created made it all the way to CNN! I was impressed. The fact that CNN is taking notice of this man is quite an accomplishment in and of itself. I am pleased that Pastor Young does not ignore married sexuality the way many churches do. I am also happy to see that they encourage creativity and excitement.

However, I do understand many may have mixed views about this challenge. Many women may find this challenge oppressive and frustrating. What is you aren't "in the mood?" It may seem more like an obligation than an opportunity. I think if we can see the positives, we can all benefit.

Overall, I have seen many positive comments from the parishioners and positive press for sex that honors God. Kudos to Pastor Young and his beautiful wife.

Posing Nude

When I signed on today, I saw an article featuring Jennifer Aniston. At 39, she has posed nude (save a necktie) for the cover of an upcoming GQ magazine. I saw the cover, and she looks amazing! However, what's the point?

Most people agree that she is a beautiful woman, and I am not here to dispute this fact. My question is, what does she gain by sharing her naked body with the entire world? GQ is a men's mag, so we know that she is posing mostly for men. I honestly feel badly for Hollywood women who feel that they must share their bodies with fans in order to claim the spotlight.

I think this proves that women struggle with self-esteem and body image no matter what tax bracket they fall into. While her body is toned and shapely, I can't imagine that she just woke up one day and said, "I need to pose nude. It would make me feel good about myself." Even if she did, we know publicity is the real reason. I mean, look, I'm writing about it after seeing the article, so it's working for her.

In my youth, I have been guilty of wearing clothing strictly because I thought would attract male attention. As adults, do we still dress only to garner attention? I understand the motive, but it's very dangerous. Men are so visually stimulated. Do you really want your husband or teenage son bombarded with images of naked women when he stops in to grab milk at the grocery store?

It is bigger than self expression. While I am aware that she is free to do as she pleases, I believe we should consider the consequences of our actions. Just because we can, doesn't mean we should. What happens if she is a mom someday, and her son's teacher has her posted on his bedroom wall? I know that sex sells, but it shouldn't. Our bodies are temples, not made to be degraded.

More Crazy, Hot Sex!

I promise I do not look for books with sex in them, but I have stumbled onto some lately.... Debbie Macomber's Cedar Cove Series is a collection of stories that take place in Washington state. In 16 Lighthouse Road, we are introduced to several couples covering a spectrum of ages.

Not only did I fall in love with the characters, but I immediately got sucked into the storyline that begins with the disappearance of Grace's husband Dan. He just vanished without a trace, and she and her daughters are left to figure out where he is and why he left.

Now, the couple relationships are smokin' hot! They are passionate, respectful and red hot. I love it! Some have been married for weeks, while others for many years. Some are on a second marriage after a painful divorce or being widowed. No matter what, the physical love between them is evident. Macomber is not shy at all about providing vivid imagery.

As a married woman, I believe it's important to celebrate the marriage bed. While we are all presented with challenges in this department, God meant for it to be a gift for us. I am pleased to see this author celebrating married sex that's alive and filled with joy.

The Fake Church (Pt 2)

The church often takes the Job approach, telling people that their hardship is because of their own sin. That may well be, but other possibilities exist, and they should also be explored first.

As a forever church member, I've seen my share of travesties. Once a busload of young men from a juvenile correctional facility arrived at church on a Sunday morning. They looked liked regular kids from the streets. Instead of rejoicing at the opportunity to serve and minister to the teens, the pious church ladies set out to give them makeovers! "Pull up your pants, young man." "Why is your hair braided?" "Earrings are for women!" Tragic!


When our Lord walked the earth, His focus was on the individual. He first met their needs and then ministered the gospel. IN THAT ORDER. He dined with thieves, and conversed with whores. If our Savior, who was without sin, could do so, who are we to behave life the Pharisees?

While some churches follow His example in earnest, too many do not. Too many impart pain instead of love. We need to step out of our comfort zones, remove ourselves from the pedestal and follow Christ's perfect example. Only then can the world experience God's love.

A Boyfriend for My Daughter

I was driving home today after picking up our kids. My 5 year old daughter proceeds to tell me how her classmate has an ex-boyfriend. She's 5 too. Seriously. But wait, there's more. She too wants a boyfriend, but she has no idea why. There's a boy whom, I will call Chad. He has four girlfriends, one of which is my daughter apparently. One girl wants to kiss him! Chad also, in her words, "like believes he is the strongest man in the world, even though he's only 5. Wow!

I had to resist the urge to tell her to choose someone without such an inflated ego. For goodness sakes, do not share a man with 3 other girls! Do not follow him around, and do not do everything he does! But, alas, I remembered, she is only 5. I still remember the crush I had when I was 6. It's harmless right? I'm not so sure.

This was a hard conversation to hear from my little girl. I developed a dislike for poor Chad. I want to lock up my daughter in her room for the next 20 years. My parents would laugh if they knew how I was being paid back this way! Oh well. What goes around comes around.

I Hate Wrinkles!

Each year I get a little older. Things are not quite the same as they used to be. When I got married, I was thin and perky! After several years and two children, some things have definitely changed.

So as my body changes and skin looses its elasticity, there are some questions I have to ask. When the crows feet come, will I want them tightened? Botox? When the boobs sag and deflate, should I get them filled out and lifted up? Should I give up on sit-ups and schedule a tummy tuck?

Is it vanity? Does it matter?

I think it does matter. How I look affects my self-esteem. It affects how I respond sexually. If I am in shape, I can function better in my daily life.

I like to enjoy what I see in the mirror. There's nothing wrong with that right? But how far is too far?




I can't obsess over my appearance, but I should take pride in myself. After all, my body is God's temple.


I don't know if there is a "right" answer. Just food for thought. I'd love to know what you think.

The Fake Church (Pt 1)

You've seen it all before. Come as you are. Experience the love of God here. Unless...you're poor, Hispanic, gay, democrat or otherwise. You get the picture.

The church, with its good intentions, has managed to alienate almost everyone. How welcome do you feel when visiting a new church if you look differently than the majority of the members? Do you catch the sideways glances periodically?

And what happens when you actually become a member and get to know the people? One day in small group, you reveal that your wife had an affair and your son has come out of the closet? What's the reaction? Pacifist smiles and sympathetic pats on the back? Offers of prayer? How soon until the coffee and lunch invitations cease? You have just been judged.

The "religious right" are known for being notoriously unaccepting of differences. Instead of running to the church for shelter, many flee for fear of judgement. The same is true for believers and unbelievers alike.

When the Claws Come Out...

I have seen the most vicious things happen when two or more girls are involved. The situation can get very ugly very fast. I have experienced workplace sabotage and seen boyfriends stolen away from best friends. The adjectives and nouns used to describe other other women can make your neck hairs stand on edge.

Why can't girls get along? It's and age old question, but it still fascinates me. I believe jealousy is at the heart of it.

When I was growing up, I was on the skinny side. Consequently, my nickname was "Snakehips". I had no hips and no boobs. I always envied girls who had them. Crazy, huh?

As women, we're the same way. If someone is taller, thinner, sexier... The list is unending. Soon we begin to cast judgement on her character, simply based upon appearance. She becomes conceited, and we call her names under our breath.

Unfortunately, the Ten Commandments do not allow us to envy others. We are admonished to rejoice when others do. That's a sharp contrast.

Women have enough trouble in the world without tearing down each other. Maybe the next time we see a pretty woman, we can tell her so instead of giving her a dirty look.

Counting My Blessings

This year, we celebrated Thanksgiving in our new home. In this economy, we don't take that for granted. Our neighbors are nice, and our neighborhood is safe. I am so thankful.

I had some much needed time off work. What made it very special was sharing it with each other and with some of our close family. In times of trouble, I find it therapeutic to think on simple things like this.

So Many Reasons to Give Thanks

In spite of the events of the last month, I am still thankful for so much. My parents drove down from Ohio for the holiday. Email keeps me connected to my brother in Saudi Arabia. The sun is shining. My children and husband are healthy. We are celebrating in our new home. Did I already say the sun is shining? Let me not mention the wonderful aroma of turkey and trimmings in our house.

The point is, in spite of all things, we must give thanks. We have to focus on those things that are positive and uplifting. That's what I've been trying to do. Have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving. May God bless and shine on you all.

Where Did the Time Go?

Already Thanksgiving is upon us. It's so hard to believe that we are weeks away from another new year. In our home, we are busily making preparations. My parents are coming down from the north. We are all so excited for their arrival.

This year while you're planning parties, take some time to truly give thanks for all we have. The most impoverished person here has so much more than many in other countries.

In spite of the economy, we are blessed. Gas prices are lower right now. My purse appreciates that! Whether or not stock prices rise or 401k's are stable, God never changes. He promised to supply all of our needs according to His riches in heaven. As one of His creation, we have the right to tap into that. That should make you feel pretty rich.

Maybe I spoke too soon

Lately, I have been feeling like I have post partum depression, only the crib is empty. It honestly doesn't seem fair. As the hcg in my blood has gone down, so have my spirits. It's kind of weird to feel this way without having had a baby.

While I do feel that progress has been made, I had a set-back yesterday. I had to have my blood drawn for the third time to check my hcg. That was bad enough. When I arrived at the daycare, our son's teacher asked me how I was feeling. I knew what she meant, so I told her and the other teacher that I had lost the baby. Of course they were sweet and sympathetic, but things like that make it hard for me to move ahead.

I want to cry about everything, even being stuck in traffic. Pray for me. I need to get back to my old self. But there is good news. Today The Biggest Loser comes on! That makes me happy!

Historic Moments

I've avoided politics up until this point. However, today is a big day for our country. I heard on the news that no matter which way it goes, we make history today. If Obama wins, he will be the first African-American president. If McCain wins, he will be the oldest first term president and Palin, the first female.

Whatever happens, we should be thankful to live in this country. We have a democracy that gives us the right to choose our leader by voting. I think that's pretty amazing. God bless America! I always wanted to say that!

Moving in a Positive Direction

On Thursday I had an appointment. It was what should have been my first real appointment of the pregnancy. I was to meet the midwife and learn about labor and delivery at the hospital. Instead, I was scheduled for another ultrasound to make sure that there was nothing left of my baby. Let's just say that Thursday was not a good day for me.

The good news is, everything is pretty much gone. The bad news is, everything is pretty much gone. It does not look like I will need a D&C. An answered prayer. But now, I'm not pregnant any more, and I want to be. I've been doing okay. The physical pain has ceased, although emotional damage has been done. I am doing my best... I should say, WE are doing our best to move forward one day at a time. Some days I laugh, some days, I cry. At times, it's a little of both. For now, that's the best I can do. But, I will not despair. I have much to be thankful for, and I try to focus on those things right now.

The Process

I am learning a lot as I go through the process of losing a child. The physical pain is a surprise to me. Each day, I lose a little bit more in a way that is very painful. This pain makes it a little harder to get through the range of emotions that I am experiencing.

My family and friends have been very supportive and encouraging. I know that in the end, it's up to me how I get through this. I have to choose to allow God to heal me. I am learning so much about life right now. I have already changed my perspective and my priorities. Before this, I was working so hard. Now it just doesn't seem to matter. Funny how life can change so fast.

A Drastic Change of Plans

I had planned to chronicle my third pregnancy on my blog. I was going to talk about the highs and lows and weird symptoms. However, yesterday that all changed.

I learned that I am miscarrying our third child as I speak. It came as a crushing blow that sent me into a tale spin of emotions. I saw the empty amniotic sac on a large wall television, and my heart broke. I never knew I could feel physical pain like that in my heart until then. So instead of chronicles of joy, I will talk about my process of grief and how God is bringing me through it. We were so excited, and this change of events is hard to accept. Everyone says it's God's will. Admittedly, I am having a hard time coping with that right now with my empty womb.

If you know someone whose recently had a miscarriage, don't ask her if she's okay. She's not. I'm not, but I will be. God promised not to leave or forsake me, and I plan to hold Him to it.

Good TV

One of my favorite television shows is The Biggest Loser. Because of it, Tuesday nights are something I look forward to. If you've never had the pleasure of seeing it, you're missing out.

The show is about people struggling to lose weight in order to enhance and even save their lives. They have already tried everything else, and this is the last resort. Most are at least 100 pounds too heavy.

What I like is their spirit. I like watching the improvements they make each week, and how hard they work to do so. I always cheer for them and find myself sucked into their struggle. It makes me want to work harder toward my goals and not give up when things are difficult.

I find that perseverance is necessary in every aspect of life. If you are having a hard time motivating yourself these days, tune in sometime and see if you don't feel encouraged afterward.

An apology

I apologize for being remiss in posting. This past week has been insane at work and in life. Stay posted for more details on what else is going on....

Let's Talk About Sex

I have a question for each of you. Why have sex? Do you do it out of obligation? As a part of your "wifely duty"? Do you perform because you know it's expected? Do you have an off-the-charts libido and just can't do without it? When you do fool around, what does it do for you? Besides for the obvious physical release you may experience, what else is there?

I tend to have this idealized point of view. Not only do I expect to see the moon and stars, but I also expect to gain a spiritual connection unparalleled by anything else on earth. It's not just about the end result for me, although it is a bonus. I like to feel special. Esteemed, valued and cherished.

There are often discrepancies between men and women's sex drives and needs. These often cause problems is relationships. Where do you find common ground? I'm not sure I know the answer. Media works against us. The way it looks on television and real life are very different. At times I wish I had the ability to turn it on at the drop of a hat.

Now don't get me wrong, there are times when there is nothing else I'd rather do, but at times it's the furthest thing from my mind. Is it okay to fake, or is this dishonest? I'd like to hear from you on this. A little girl talk.

My new best friend

My new friend Ruby helps keep me organized. She helps me keep track of appointments and kids' schedules. She provides entertainment for hours. She has even helped me to make time for communicating with loved ones who are in other locations! She takes amazing pictures. If I get lost, she's very good with directions. She's even helped me to spice up my love life and get closer to God. She sounds perfect, right?


Well, you too can have a friend like Ruby. Ruby is my new phone. A Blackberry Pearl smartphone to be exact. Recently my old phone was damaged and I had to replace it. I left it up to hubby to do so. He decided it was time for me to step into the technology age. I disagreed. But now I'm in love. This phone truly is like my right arm. It does more things than I can imagine. It does everything I listed and more. It fits in the palm of your hand and provides so much at your fingertips. If you're in the market for something to help you stay connected on the go, I highly recommend Ruby. Of course, that name is already taken. Sorry. :(

Choosing not to participate...

This morning I heard a man speak that I had never heard before. He was talking about faith. He spoke mostly from the book of Hebrews. It was just what the doctor ordered.

He began by talking about the economy and the financial implications for the individual. How does Walstreet affect you? Are you in danger of losing your house or your retirement? If so, how do you respond?

This man said that analysts are saying we are in a depression, the final steps before an all out recession. Everyone is feeling the crunch of prices at the pump and rising taxes. Perhaps there is always too much month at the end of your check. Maybe you laugh any time someone mentions the word savings because you have none.

So what was this man's answer to the depression. He said, "I have a choice, and I choose not to participate." Wow. That hit me.

Lately I have been as negative as the next person about our economy. I have put faith on the back burner and forgotten that God promised to supply all of my needs according to His riches. What a promise to forget. Well, I am telling myself to remember. God is bigger than my circumstances and yours too. When we lose sight of this, we begin to wallow in self-pity and focus only on our problems. I am so guilty that I am ashamed.

So, you too have a choice. Choose not to participate and believe that God is bigger than the economy. He is big enough to take care of each one of us. When we are tempted to forget, let us encourage each other. I know I need it.

Happy Weekend

I hope your weekend seems to last forever. May you enjoy each moment to the fullest. Enjoy the weather and your loved ones. Make it count. Thanks for reading.

Naked and Happy

Recently I watched a popular show on Lifetime. It features a man teaching women how to feel confident about themselves no matter what their size. I liked the concept, so I decided to tune in.

The episode I watched was a mother/daughter duo. The daughter was developing low self-esteem as a result of watching her mother berate herself each time she had a chance to do so.

The host took them through a couple of exercises and gave some good pep talks. It ended with the mother doing an almost totally nude photo shoot and the daughter in a bikini for a magazine. They did seem to learn to love themselves, but I couldn't help but think that it won't last.

A couple of things:

The host is an openly gay man. Is it really possible for women to define their beauty by the standards of one who is attracted to other men?

The women who had been told how beautiful they already looked were given extensive makeovers.

What about addressing the psychological reasons why women are so hard on themselves? Television and Media to name two.

After giving birth to 2 children in 3 years, my body parts will never again return to where they used to be. If any of you have breastfed, I am sure you have thrown all of your bikinis away. If not, the stretch marks on your thighs and stomachs have given you another reason to discard skimpy swimsuits and form fitting shirts.

The reality that my body will never look the same was enough to make me cry at first. But there was a person in my life constantly telling me how beautiful I was. I could not believe him. I know some of you have been there. Maybe you are there now.

Deep in my heart, I believe that our beauty, our true beauty is found inside. And we learn to appreciate it by remembering our Creator. He created us "fearfully and wonderfully " .
(Ps. 139:14)

For those of us with daughters, they are watching. So next time you get out of the shower, stop sucking in long enough to take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. Take in all of the flaws. Try to notice some things that you love about you. And if you just can't do it. Remember the One who made you. Ask him to love what you have. Stretch marks, extra pounds, saggy boobs and all.

Crazy Hot Sex!

Yesterday I was listening to an audiobook recommended to me by a coworker. It seemed normal enough at the time. It was about a regular married couple. Kids. The whole nine yards. Nothing special, right? Soon, it took an unexpected turn.

The author chose to describe their relationship. She talked about the love, passion and lust that existed between them. From a late night rendezvous to a wild night in the boathouse. Even after more than 15 years of marriage, they were still wild for one another. The husband was a fisherman who often spent several days away from home while the wife stayed home with 3 kids, one having special needs.

But when he came home, sparks flew between them! One particularly interesting scene had the couple at the grocery store. They became overwhelmed by the need to be together. They abandoned the cart and moved their truck to a remote corner of the parking lot. Let's just say, it took a while for the fog to clear from the windows.

I was pleasantly surprised to find an author writing about a MARRIED couple having wild, crazy sex. And with each other! How often do we read or see this on TV? I don't. Why not? Isn't that the way God wanted it? We have created our own new standard.

Some may disagree with my writing about something so private. However, I think it's healthy and necessary. The whole world talks about sex while the church sticks its head in the sand. Who better to teach the world what sex should be like than some crazy married people?

So come on girls, grab your husband, and remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place. I think I'll take my own advice!

Some crazy dude

Thanks to the crazy dude that reads my girly blog. You're kinda cute!

A funny thing happened...

On Sunday, we visited a new church for the first time. All was going well. The music and message touched our hearts. When the minister asked those going through something to stand if they wanted someone to pray for them, we uncharacteristically did. Usually, I like to do things very privately.

We stood along with others, and teenagers prayed for us. Soon I felt tears flowing out of my eyes. We have been in what feels like an oven lately. We know that this is a time of transition, but things are moving at a pace slower than we can appreciate.

Afterward we sat down. It was time for offering, and I realized neither of us had brought cash. Who does in this world of debit cards? I found like 37 cents in my purse and threw that in as the basket went by. I thought nothing of it, even though my husband laughed at me for doing so.

As the service was ending, we were walking out to meet the pastor. The man next to me tapped me on the shoulder and placed something in my hand. As we neared the hallway, I opened my hand to find $100 in it. I was stunned speechless. We looked at each other in disbelief and both decided to give it back.

We told the pastor about it, and he was so happy about it. He told us to look at it as a blessing and enjoy it. Ironically, my husband's bag was stolen from his car Saturday as he coached a game. $50 cash was stolen. Good measure? Of course that may not seem like a big loss, but every little bit counts in this economy.

We tried to no avail to find the good samaritan. As we rode home, we discussed it and were thankful for the provision. But first, we had to put our pride aside. I thought that perhaps we looked broke since we put so little in the offering. But that wasn't it. I've done that several times before when I forgot cash or just didn't have money. No one ever handed me money before.

In the end, that one man made quite an impression on us. We learned an important lesson about humility and about being able to receive from someone as well as give. What a way to show love to a stranger.

Shout Out

Thanks to my girls for the support. And folks say women can't get along! It's good to have good friends to read and comments on here. You know who you are. My heart is overflowing. I miss you a lot, but you have a permanent place in my heart and in our family. I look forward to sharing many more thoughts with you. I love you!

Working Woman

Have you ever been tired of being tired? Lately I've been feeling that a lot. I work full-time outside of our home. We have two young children. I feel that there are never enough hours in the day. My house is never clean enough, the meals are rarely nutritious enough. I find myself longing for a break or a big cry. Do any of you ever feel like that?

I enjoy my work [most of the time;)], and we need the income right now, but I wish I could do it all better. What's a girl to do? I think mothers, whether we stay home or not, are always feeling guilty for one reason of another. I think we are very hard on ourselves. It's very hard to prioritize the many things expected of us in a 24 hour period.

We miss out on doing many of the things we enjoy, like sleeping and relaxing, because we are often busy meeting someone else's needs. I have hundreds of pictures trapped in digital world just waiting to be printed and placed in an album. I think I'll get that done by the time I'm a grandmother! More later...

Scatter brained

The first day of school went of without a hitch, except that I got slightly lost trying to drop our daughter off. Oops! So far she's enjoying it a lot.

Anyway, my older brother just arrived back in the Middle East. He's been in the Air Force since he graduated high school. He's been over there a couple of times already. I pray for his safety daily. This war just won't seem to end. I'm sure many of you know how I feel.

The gas prices are also back breaking. Jobs are uncertain.

I'm so glad there is one thing that is always steady in my life. The love and protection of my Father. Sometimes that's all we have to hold on to.

First day of school...

Our firstborn starts kindergarten today. I prayed for peace so that I could sleep. I am so nervous and don't know why. It seems like she was born yesterday, and now she's off on her own. Wow. I want to cry just thinking about it, but I feel crazy. If you've ever gone through this, then I'm sure you can empathize. I'm going to wake her soon so that we can open this new chapter together. Hopefully the ride is not too bumpy. Hopefully I don't embarrass myself with too many tears.

Movie review

Recently I watched the movie Penelope with my family.
I'd wanted to watch if for a while, so when Netflix delivered,
I was excited. My hubby, not so much. A movie about a girl that looks like a pig... Why? That's a boy for you! :) For some reason, it made total sense to me. By the way, this movie was rated PG.

So initially, the girl, played by Christina Ricci, had a startling appearance. She was the result of a curse placed on her family years ago, and the only way to be break the spell was to find someone to marry her as she was.

After a series of frightened suitors ran away, Penelope had finally had enough and decided to run away and experience the world in disguise. What she finds is not a man to marry her. Who she finds is herself. She learns about things that she has missed and about what she enjoys.





WARNING: MOVIE SPOILER BELOW!




In the end she realizes that the love she was searching for was the NOT the way to break the curse. The love had to come from within. When she learned to love herself, pig nose and all, the spell was broken. She was no longer waiting for Mr. Right to save her. The secret was within her all along.

How many of us have wasted more than a few years waiting for the right man to come along and fix us. How many of us have stared in the mirror and figured we were unlovable because we weren't pretty enough and had a disfiguration? I know there isn't a girl alive that hasn't struggled with the image she sees in the mirror. But if we can't love what we see, how can we expect someone else to?

But there's good news, even if it takes us a while to reconcile ourselves with the lies the mirror tells us and who we really are, there's one man who's already loved us unconditionally. Enough to lay down His life... He loves us even when we can't yet love ourselves.

Those crazy kids

So today we visited a new church for the first time. We were already prepared for a different experience because we'd never been to a church of this denomination before. All was going well. The people were friendly, and in spite of the kids, we were not late. We went in and found our seat in the back row so just in case the little ones got restless, we could make a quick exit.

It started right away. the boy and girl decided to fight over the crayons given to them by the usher. "Shhh!!" I hissed. I just looked at my husband and rolled my eyes. Then they called all of the children forward for a story. They excitedly got up and went into the aisle. Our daughter was first with her brother trailing behind. As he ran, he tripped and tumbled in the aisle. He then got up and laughed loudly at himself. But it wasn't over yet.

Once they were safely seated, our son stood up and began climbing up the steps.
When he reached the top, he stood proudly and yelled, "Look at me, Daddy!"
When he got no reply, he repeated himself loudly. The congregation laughed. I laughed, but for a totally different reason. Our two children then proceeded to chase each other back and forth across the front of the church during the story. I was horrified. Since we were the only ethnic couple in the room, it was impossible for us to deny knowing them.

We decided that we would never be invited back again. The members tried to reassure us that all the other kids had done this at one time, but I think they just felt sorry for us. It was good while it lasted. Did I forget to mention that my husband is a candidate for a position at the church? I guess he shouldn't file his resume' just yet.

My volunteer job

I work outside of our home full time. But the job I should be getting paid for is the one that takes place off the clock. My kids, as cute as they are, sometimes make me want to give them away to gypsies. They are so demanding and loud. They're always fighting and yelling at each other. If you have little ones, you know the drill.

But they are so funny! I was talking to our daughter, and she asked if I'd gotten something for her. I said, "Uh, duh!" So her little brother chimes in and repeats me. It was so cute because he's only two, so many things that he says require translation. This was crystal clear.

Parenting can be so frustrating and challenging. They ask questions that I can't answer. They evoke emotions that seem unnatural. But at the end of the day, you can't imagine life without them.

I guess kids are compensation enough on their own.

All day dreamin'

Now that I'm blogging, I'm a little obsessed. I find myself thinking about what to write at the weirdest times, like when I should be sleeping.

I started exercising again. I record shows on FitTV and do them when I can. The one that I find interesting is called Shimmy. It's belly dance! My husband thinks it great, of course. But I think it's really fun, too. Of course I don't look quite as smooth as the dancers on the screen.

Have any of you ever tried replicating exercise shows or classes? Sometimes I just make myself laugh. I don't know how many calories I'm burning, but I'm having a blast trying!

A Gem Story

So I was thinkin' about my blog title. Broken rubies. There are several references to rubies in the Bible. Specific women are called more precious than rubies in Proverbs. Sapphires, diamonds, emeralds and rubies are the four precious gems. At least that what I learned in junior high science. Rubies' value varies upon the qualities of the stone. The hardness, the color, the facets.

How different is that to how we as females are valued? We are considered more desirable if we are blond or thin or a certain color or if we have boobs that make Pamela Anderson envious. These judgments affect our self-image and cause us to feel broken inside if we don't meet the criteria.

Thankfully we have a Creator who truly loves us in our rough, unfinished state. He loves us before we have been shaped and without facets and polishing. To Him, we are so precious and beautiful just as He made us. Now, if only we could believe that...

On your mark, get set... Go!

As much as I love talking and writing, it seems natural that I would be a blogger. Only it took me this long to get it started. With lots of encouragement and not-so-patient insistence from my hubby, I finally got it together. I look forward to speaking my mind and hearing all of you do the same. This is only the beginning.