Precious Blessings

Yesterday I was blessed to spend an entire day at my 6 year old's school. There was a luau taking place and parents were invited to help out or simply enjoy the fun. I'd contemplated taking the day off to join in the festivities. For those of us mothers with careers, we are well aware of the balancing act between work and family. Since we are currently short staffed and overworked, I considered those facts also. So, in the end, I decided to follow my heart and help out, and I have no regrets.

I had an opportunity to laugh a lot. I saw my child in silly outfits and listened to her sweet voice over the throng of the others as they sang to us. She smiled so much, and was so happy to look out and see her parents and grandmother in the crowd. I am overjoyed that I was there. My little girl is truly a blessing. My family is truly probably the greatest reminder that God cares about me. Anytime I am tempted to forget that, I can look at my little ones.

I've noticed my own theme of blessings lately. It wasn't planned, but I guess it's the overflow from my heart. Every day we are faced with choices. Sometimes they are life and death. Others simply leave us with regrets if we choose the wrong way. In this case, I'm so thankful that I made the right choice. I'm thankful that I had a choice. I noticed several children without parents they and realized that perhaps they were not permitted to take time off.

There are many people who do not favor women working. I'm not here to argue with them. I am willing to say that wives are placed as helpers for her husband. Is is not possible that this help often comes in the form of employment? Staying at home has pros and cons for all parties involved. They are not clear cut. It is important that women respect and support each other regardless of how we take care of our families. Whether we stay home, work part or full-time.

A Face for the Feelings

If you're wondering why I did not write yesterday, I have a good excuse. Yesterday, we got a chance to see our unborn baby. I now have a face to go with the wiggly movements I've been feeling. It was amazing. The sheer wonderment never ceases, no matter how many times I've been here before. If I wasn't a bum, I'd try to scan in pics for you all to see. For now, imagination will have to suffice.

The perfectly crafted spine, the symmetrical cranium, the life-giving blood flow, the wonderful complement of ten fingers and toes. All seen in spectacular detail. Our children and my mom shared in this with us. What a blessing. Watching the fascination in the eyes of our little ones as they "met" their new sibling for the first time warmed my heart.

I do not take for granted the clean bill of health given to our baby. No abnormalities seen on the ultrasound. Thank you God! The organs are beautiful. The bones are long and straight. As one who sees anomalies on a daily basis, I have untold knowledge of the various things than could go wrong. So tonight I'm overjoyed. The melodious sound of my baby's heartbeat echoing in my ears... God's little rainbow of promise to me.

Marriage Miracle

This month, my husband and I celebrated 9 years of marriage. While the time has gone by quickly, it surely hasn't been easy all the time. I realize that we are blessed. Now, more than ever.

During this past week, I have watched Facebook statuses change from single to married, from married to "it's complicated", and from married to single. What a busy couple of days. As usual, I started thinking.

What makes a marriage fall apart? Was it gradual or in the blink of an eye? At times it's a series of betrayals. Perhaps there is infidelity at the root. Often couples say that they have just "fallen out of love"?

When analyzing my own marriage, I notice the biggest holes when our spiritual connection is unacceptable. Distance expands into a gulf than seems impassable. At times, you feel helpless and afraid of what tomorrow will bring. When financial difficulties are looming, the stress level takes a toll on our union. When our children are placed too high on our list, the strain is evident. So why do couples stay together in spite of hardships? I have no idea.

We love each other, but I honestly don't think it's a prerequisite to marriage. At times, we stay because we said we would. I'm thankful for the promise and the covenant we have together. I'm glad that God is the third strand. I'm glad to be married. Still. I can't take our time together for granted. Each day is a blessing. Each year a milestone. My marriage is worth protecting and holding on to.

I'm also praying for those with new marriages, those in crisis and those that have ended. God is the Father who cares enough to hold us through the hardest times. Thank you.

Nude Baby Bump

Since this is my third child, I'm struggling with finding a creative way to commemorate this pregnancy. With the first, we had a photo session. The second, my mom and I created a belly cast. So why not do a nude photo shoot this time?! Wrong! Not ever going to happen.

But, it seems I'm in a minority with this thinking. Someone showed me a website for a metropolitan photographer who specializes in family and maternity photos. The picture contained partial frontal nudity for the woman and rear nudity for the man. Why?

I'm a firm believer in the beauty of pregnancy, but I'm still the same woman. If I won't take nude pics without a baby bump, why does the bump make it acceptable? The pictures I saw showed far more than the belly. When does nudity transcend from porn to art?

In the Closet

In the closet. On the down low. Undercover. When most people hear these terms, homosexuals come to mind. When I hear them, I think of myself. Why? Of course I'll share.

This week I challenged myself to return to work with an attitude Christ could be pleased with. It hasn't been easy. There has been so much drama lately, that I dread going in the door. Honestly, some days I've had to talk to myself and say,"shut-up" a lot.

So today, I thought, " If I am a representative of Christ on this earth, is that a plus or a minus? Or would He be better off if no one knew? If I stayed in the closet?" The thought was startling. I remember deciding years ago that I could never have a Jesus fish on my car, because I suffered with a bit of road rage!

All day I've been wondering about whether or not I should be undercover. When people know you're a Christian, they expect things. Often they expect unrealistic things. Perfection. It feels like they want to catch you doing wrong. So today, I want to "come out." I want to live in a way that I can be proud of. More importantly, I want God to be proud that I'm His. Please pray with me.

Have you given a heifer today?

During the holiday season I received a catalog in the mail with a cow on the front. I seriously thought it was a joke. When I read the title Heifer International, I wasn't sure what to think! Instead of throwing it away, I decided to look inside strictly out of curiosity. It is an organization that helps to transform villages and communities through gifts of livestock.

The initial recipient may be given a pair cows. When the pair mates, a calf will be given to someone else until everyone has enough to sustain them. The ultimate pay it forward. I'd never heard of it before and was quite skeptical. Donations can be sent in your name, and you can give this gift to a family in need. I thought it was too good to be real, so I ignored it.

Fast forward to now. I was discussing women's affairs with a co-worker, and she mentioned the Heifer organization. I couldn't believe it. So someone else has heard of it! We talked a little more, and she brought me in an article about the group written by Barbara Kingsolver. The article was about a young widow in Nepal.

It is the story of poverty and isolation. She is an outcast. Her life is filled with drab colors. Red is not the color for a woman whose husband has died. Not only are the women of Nepal subject to these principles, they also carry them out. It was her mother-in-law who made sure she was not wearing red and that she was ostracized. This was the way of life. The Heifer organization changed this village and helped heal their jaded points of view.

Through empowering the women to be self-sufficient, they learned to take care of each other in the process. They learned to care for the animals and pass along off-spring. They learned to be inclusive instead of exclusive. They learned to receive as well as give. So now, instead of searching for meaningless gifts for birthdays and anniversaries, why not give a heifer? Or a goat or pigs?

How God Used Facebook

My husband had a wonderful best friend when we met. They were like brothers and made me laugh! When he said he was getting married, we were thrilled and excited to meet his bride. We all hit it off. They moved out of the country, and we all lost touch.

Many times over the years, I've harassed my husband to try and track them down. I've missed them and wished, maybe even prayed, we'd find them. Then, out of the blue, my husband received message on Facebook. There he was. They live only an hour away from us! All because of Facebook and some divine intervention.

Let's Dance: My thoughts

When I first read this article, I was so shocked. It just really seems a little over the top to me. The kid went to the prom! He did not make a bomb or fight a teacher. Just let it go. Then I read a little deeper...

There were rules in place. Consequences for each action. The young man admitted that he knew there was a good chance that he would be punished, and he chose to go anyway. He made a choice. Life is all about choices. Whether or not I agree with the extreme rules the school has, they were in place. Sure there may be loopholes. The rules only apply at school, or any number of other things. In spite of how this makes Christians look, I believe there is a big picture.

This young man is 17. Old enough to make decisions. Ready to launch out into the world. Filled with important, life-altering decisions to make. We are often forced to submit to the powers that be. Our rights and feelings are usually not taken into consideration. I believe the parents should have discussed the options and the potential consequences. Missing graduation and not being able to take finals is pretty severe. I believe the bigger lesson is making choices and accepting the consequences. Suing the school seems to send a poor message. That's just how I see it.

Let's Dance

Tyler Frost, an Ohio high school senior, was recently suspended, according to a Yahoo story. He is not permitted to take his finals on time, and subsequently will not graduate with his classmates. Pretty steep punishment. If you're like me, you want to know what this delinquent boy did to deserve this sentence. Trust me, there were no bomb scares or threatening others. He danced.

I listened to an interview the young man gave to CBS's The Early Show. The gist of the story is that the kid attends a Heritage Christian School in Findlay,OH. He received an invitation from his girlfriend to attend her prom at another school. He needed permission from his principal. It is apparent that Frost knew there was a chance he would not be allowed to graduate if he went. The school is said to have a policy against dancing.

During the interview, Frost stated that he enjoyed himself and feels it was worth the risk. He also believed the school's policies should not apply to activities not on school grounds. When asked about his faith, he says that he still considers himself to be a Christian and lives by the principles he's been taught at his school. Another article from the Toledo Blade goes into more detail about the school's position. There's also a response to the media attention on the school's website.

I don't want to comment just yet. I would really like to hear from all of you and then engage in a dialogue. Please weigh in.

Mother

Today we celebrate mothers. I'm thankful to have mine. I'm also overwhelmed by the joy of being a mom myself. I saw a marquis today that stated, "A mother's love is second only to God's love." How very true that is. I have learned much about unconditional love from mothering. It's a requirement.

I have learned to see the sun on the cloudiest of days. I have 2 and a mini reminders of God's love for me. What a privilege to be a mom. What immense responsibilities. To all of you who are mothers, I hope your day was filled with joy and endless memories. To all of you who want to be mothers, may God give you your heart's desire according to His will. Happy Mother's Day.

Good Night

As the work week closes, I want to offer a brief thanksgiving to God for His strength. My adventures in prayer are going well. I made it to work without falling asleep at my microscope. My family was kept safe. My id badge still works! I have not been laid off. My unborn baby is wiggling! I have wonderful people around me. My mom is coming to visit this month. My anniversary is coming up. We're celebrating Mother's Day. My daughter's having a birthday. I'm free to worship where and how I choose. Anyway... Thank you, God.

God, I Need to Talk

At times talking to God feels impossible. If talking to Him feels impossible, waiting to hear His voice is painful! We have been praying to God for His guidance without feeling that we have any more of an idea. After a while we started to second-guess ourselves. What are we doing wrong? Are we not talking loudly enough?

Then two days ago, while looking for labels, I stumbled on a book that I've had for quite a while. Through the years and a couple of cross-country moves, it's been pushed to the bottom of the pile. Well, in the nick of time, God brought it to the top. It appeared almost like magic. Lord, Teach Me to Pray in 28 days by Kay Arthur.

I'm only 2 days in, but I'm feeling optimistic. Although I've been praying for years, perhaps my skills have gotten a little rusty. The author has begun by focusing on the references to pray in the Bible, and the specific prayers found their. There are discussions about how to pray and what to pray for.

I'm looking forward to sitting at the feet of Jesus through this study. Pray that I persevere and that I am radically transformed by the end of it. I know God can do it, and I believe He will. I will share when I finish. Anything that improves my communication with the Most High is alright with me!

Small Groups

We were learning about steps to improve our relationship with God at church yesterday. With pen in hand, I am armed to take meticulous notes. The first step was daily quiet time. No problem! My pen halted abruptly at step two, participate in a small group. What? Why? It isn't like we haven't heard this before. We were even a part of a couples small group before we had children. Over the years our conflicting schedules have made small group attendance extinct. Either there are no good times or no child care. But of course those are only the surface reasons for not going. Our reasons, although legit, are fostered by a basic distrust of church folks.

Growing up as a pk, I saw a lot in church. Much of it ugly. When you hear other Christians gossipping about their group members, you decide there is no point in setting yourself up for disappointment. I can get two-faced friends anywhere. So pastor said, "It's time to trust again." The statement spoke to me. I realized that perhaps it was, no is, my own expectations that set me up for failure. We're all human. Fallen and broken. We will sin. I need to stop judging and realize that Christians are saved by grace. So I'm searching for a group now and looking forward to new relationships.

Brain Dead

So lately I've been so distracted. For those of you who visit me regularly, you know I try to post consistently. Thank you, btw, to those of you who visit often. I really do appreciate it. Feel free to spread the word . But I digress. Anyway. I've had many things on my mind. Work. The new baby. The future. God's plan for me. My daughter's self-confidence. Traveling. You get the picture.

When this happens, my schedule gets all crazy. I simply forgot to write. So I'm just gonna share a little. This week has been hectic. Work has been hectic and stressful. I've been wondering when God will provide a ram in the bush. I would also like to help my daughter with her fears. At times she is so hesitant to try new or difficult things. I guess it bothers me because I feel that kids should be fearless. Most times I feel that I should do more, and the guilt of being a working mom takes its place in my psyche.

I've also, sadly, spent some time worrying about my unborn baby. While the pregnancy is progressing fine, I can't know right now if it's healthy and whole. I should not be concerned, but the geneticist in me knows too much info. With the previous loss, I'm a bit more paranoid. And while others are praying for me, I still struggle and ask God to forgive me for not trusting Him enough.

So now that you know a little about what's going on with me, maybe the picture is a little clearer. I will remind myself to focus and share my heart with each of you. For those that I know personally, I thank you for your friendship and support. For those that I do not, I thank you also and look forward to continuing our very long distance relationship. God bless you. May His grace and mercy smile on you. May His Light guide your footsteps as I know He will continue to guide mine also.