I Need a Man (Pt 2)

In part one, I talked about 5 steps for finding a good man. I will elaborate on:

Step 1: Define Good.

Many girls and women start the search for Mr. Right without a clue. The thought process stops with how he looks in a pair of jeans, what he drives and where he works. While sexual attraction and employment are "good" things, they are not the only components to be considered.

Let's start with two pertinent definitions provided by Merriam-Webster. The first is: of a favorable character or tendency. The second is: of the highest worth or reliability. Both of these definitions embody what a good man is. There is no reference to Mercedes, or to height or employer.

Digging a little deeper...

A) Character. This is, hands down, at the top of the list. It is the thing that all other things revolve around. Moral excellence and firmness. A man's qualities or traits. For me, "moral excellence" is only achieved through a foundation on the principles of the Bible and a growing relationship with the One who gave His life for us. When I first encountered my husband, this was the first thing I learned about him. Without it, there was no deal. Remember: DO NOT SETTLE. More on that in a later post.

B) As for a man's qualities and traits... What's he about? How does he carry himself? Does what he says reflect what he does? Physical qualities fall into this category also. I am certainly physically attracted to hear husband, but I cannot base my love for him on that alone. Many times the so-called hottie is kryptonite for you. The beauty to look for is that which emanates from within him. If he happens to be cute, consider it a bonus. Looks fade, and your tastes will change with age. Your love and devotion must be based on a deeper connection.

C) A final word of advice, DO NOT COMPARE. As women, we often find ourselves doing this inadvertently or intentionally. He's not cute enough. He has bad teeth or hair. As long as there are plastic surgeons, beauticians and dentists, these items can be altered! Poor character will create far more challenges. Do not allow the opinion of friends or family to dissuade you. Do not search for media ideals. It's poison pure and simple. Perfection exists only in heaven. Cut him some slack on these entities. While we expect perfection, we are far from it.

When I fell in love with Tre, I prayed that God would remove the blinders from my eyes. I did not want to make an error in judgment. If you are always picking the wrong men, ask God to help you. He will. You may learn that the problem is NOT the men. I did.

Stay tuned for more in this series.

Photo by jurvetson