Tuesday, February 3, 2009

"Love happens when people forgive."

"Love happens when people forgive," is the recurring theme in Oceans Apart. This novel by Karen Kingsbury explores what happens when a husband cheats and conceals the affair for 8 years. When the woman he was with dies unexpectedly, Connor Evans is faced with some very hard decisions. The roller coaster ride that ensues will change he and his wife Michelle forever.

There is forgiveness unlimited that needs to happen. A forgiveness that is divine. There are hurts so deep that we are unable to forgive on our own. When a husband hurts you, God is often the only one who can restore the love and trust you shared.

I've actually read this book twice. The first in paperback, the second on audiobook. The first time, I was deeply moved and very touched by the story. The second time, I was transformed. I learned about forgiveness. True forgiveness. I called my husband and asked him to forgive me for being unforgiving.

There have been things that have happened in our lives, struggles we've had, that I have held against him. I thought I was "over it", but I was wrong. At first I felt justified, telling myself he made poor choices. Everyone makes mistakes. Holding a grudge created an impassable sea of hurt and bitterness. Although my husband has not been unfaithful, perhaps I treated him as though he was a murderer.

I think he had been trying to tell me that, but I was too busy focusing on what I saw as his failure to see what I was doing in turn. But this time, I heard him speak through the words of the author. We are moving forward now. I am learning to focus on his strengths and forgive his weakness. The operative word is learning. I have not arrived. The importance of growth is the basis for a vibrant faith.

The Word of God speaks often about forgiveness and judgement. Since it is mentioned a lot, it must be important. We are told that we can not be forgiven if we do not first forgive.
(see Matthew 6:14-15) If you are holding a grudge and the root of bitterness is growing inside you, embrace Oceans Apart, and allow God to speak to you through this inspirational fiction. Let the healing and restoration begin.

For more on forgiveness, click here.

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