With Friends Like Christians, Who Needs Enemies?

When I survey my life, the biggest hurts I've endured have been at that hands of other Christians.  The times I've been been stabbed in the back the most and maligned the worst have also been at the hands of other Christians.

So it makes me ask, "With friends like Christians, who needs enemies?"

With so much wrong in the world, why do we have so much time to criticize each other for such simple things?  It's not to say that Christians are always above reproach, but we spend the majority of our time trying to tear one another down, if not with politics then by denominational discord.

If, after reading the same Bible, we can't be on one accord, how can we expect to help draw others to God?  If, after attending church from week to week, our hearts remain hard and callous towards those who differ from us, how can we say that we truly love God?

Love is not expressed with thinly veiled hatred or poorly disguised bigotry.  Love does not lift up oneself in order to cast judgment on another.  Love does not claim to pray while spewing criticisms in private.

So what's my point?  Christians need to be on the same page.  We need to remove ourselves from the equation and keep our eyes on Jesus.  Our ministries should model His, not the other way around.  We cannot bend Him to fit what we believe or what we want to be true.  Aligning our ways with His allows us to be on His page from His book.

We've been given an instruction Book for life.  We need only to read and allow His Spirit to help us apply it.

Weaker and Wiser

My mom always says that each generation is weaker but wiser. Lately I've been wondering what that really means. I'm starting to think it means more knowledgeable but much more stupid.

There is so much technology that teens can find out anything on the phone in the palm of their hands. Texting has replaced talking. But in this Google age, are the teens in your life smarter or worse for the wear?

I love technology, so please don't think I'm bashing technology. I just think many teens are too smart (literally), for their own good. Parents can't keep up, and many don't bother trying. In the mean time we are losing a generation of young people to the devil's many snares.

They are losing their virginity at alarming rates. The generations before are successfully teaching our young women to set their standards low and keep them there. They have heard the message loud and clear. It's time for us to do better.

We are to be an example. We need to stop settling, and stop lying to ourselves and anyone else who is fool enough to listen. We need to be real friends to each other and lovingly call our girls out when we see them slipping in patterns of stupidity. You've been challenged, and called out. Now what are you gonna do about it?

Shut Up!

I'm wondering why women are so drawn to juicy secrets? While I realize that men also enjoy an opportunity to talk about someone's misfortune, women are especially excited by this. I've seen women practically foam at the mouth at the expectation of gleaning a morsel of private information. The main problem is that it is especially prevalent among believers.

I know you're shocked and appalled by this revelation. The church is meant to be a safe haven for those who are broken and weary. I've had a tendency to steer clear of women's groups primarily because I feel that gossip is so often thinly veiled in a cloak of concern or a so-called prayer request.

Gossips are thrilled to spread information about someone's failures or distress. The intent of gossip is tragic, painful and repulsive. A gossip does not care if the information being spread is truthful. She does not care who gets caught in the crossfire. As women, we have much to learn about gossip.

Many women are afraid of sharing their hearts or failures with other women because they don't want to hear about it later on from someone else. They are also afraid that the "friend" they choose to share with is secretly happy she is struggling. Gossip makes it hard to truly empathize with another, and it it in direct opposition with Jesus' teaching. We are commanded to cry with one another and help to bear one another's burdens, not to rejoice in shortcomings.

Proverbs 20:19 says: A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don't hang around with chatterers.
Proverbs 11:12-13 says: It is foolish to belittle one's neighbor; a sensible person keeps quiet. A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. The Bible leaves no question about what should leave our mouths. Since the Bible takes a hard line on being busybodies who have nothing better to do than spread lies, as Christians, we are supposed to do the same. Let us learn to be TRUE friends to each other. Let us learn to glory only in the good things and exercise self-control.

Unspeakable Danger

Our firstborn attended her first sleepover several weeks ago. I can't believe how quickly she's growing up. When I mentioned the sleepover to another mom, she looked at me in dismay. I was confused. She said that she couldn't believe we let her go. Her concern was about whether or not there was an older boy in the house.

She told me about how fiercely protective she was of her only child. She expressed a desire to keep her daughter innocent for as long as possible. She also said that she was so protective because of what she had experienced during her childhood.

It is an evil world when you can't send your child to someone's home without worrying about a perverse father or older son who has an eye for little girls. While I was not as afraid as the mom I spoke to, I was relieved that there were no older sons in the home.

I am also thankful that God protects our daughter from all manner of evil. He is with her when we can't be and even when we are. He keeps her safe from danger at school, and I do not take it for granted. Because He does not leave her, I can feel at peace when I do.

The Stuff that Matters

The other day I was chatting with two coworkers about the workplace politics and allowing stuff to get the best of you. It's so easy to get bogged down in all of the things that are wrong in a workplace, really any place. I told them that I've seen quite a few people come and go in our department. The ones who let it get the best of them don't last.

I spoke from experience. I was the one who was letting it get the best of me. I was letting bitterness set in. I was frustrated everyday. I expected changes and logical steps that most likely were never going to happen. Meanwhile, I was letting those frustrations make me cranky. I was complaining constantly, and things remained the same.

After I miscarried, there was a switch that clicked inside of me. Why are you allowing things that don't matter to control your happiness? When my hip refused to heal after childbirth, and I struggled with mobility. I had repeated difficulties with my disability process. When I quit worrying and stressing, God took over. When my nephew was diagnosed with cancer, a transformation began inside me.

Most of the things I allow to plague me are not life and death. Sadly, most aren't even important in the grand scheme of things. I've been making a conscious effort to enjoy everyday. Especially the time I spend with my family. I've been taking time to smell the roses. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm getting there. Just the other day my friend said that she's noticed a calm about me lately. It made me smile. It means the changes is noticeable, and I thank God for it.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Even the stuff that seems insurmountable. If it is truly beyond our control, we have to accept that. God knows the outcome. He sees the whole picture while we see only what's in front of us. Greater still, He controls all. He has the ability to alter situations in unimaginable ways in the blink of an eye. I'm so glad He is who holds my future. Rest in that today.

Loss

My life has been a whirlwind of activity lately. For those of you who know me personally, you may know that I lost my last living grandparent last week. My grandmother was a constant presence in my life, and I already miss her dearly. Although she had been ill for some time, her death was still a shock. She seemed to be improving. The grieving began quickly as the tears began to flow.

My mother was devastated. Both of her parents are gone now. Her pain was palpable, and comforting her was a challenge. But thank God for the ultimate Comforter we find in the Holy Spirit.

So, I thank each of you for all of your kind words and thoughts and prayers. I have felt the warmth of your love envelop me. I have not felt alone. Thank you for your kindness.

I also have so much to say my experiences with my extended family over the last 2 weeks. Whew! Stay tuned...

Follow Me

For y'all who have been hanging in there with me through this pregnancy, thank you. I mean it. I love you all. I know my writing has been more sporadic. Trust me, my intentions are good. I will still write, but since it's not as regular right now, I would ask each of you to follow this blog on the link provided. Then when I write, you''ll be notified, and you won't be frustrated as much, hopefully.

I look forward to chatting with you more. I enjoy sharing with you and having you allow me into tiny corners of your world. I appreciate the privilege you've given me. Please share with others if you are enjoying my musings. If not, please share with me. Tell me what you'd like to talk about. Express your dislikes and concerns, too. May God bless each of you abundantly according to His riches.

How God Used Facebook

My husband had a wonderful best friend when we met. They were like brothers and made me laugh! When he said he was getting married, we were thrilled and excited to meet his bride. We all hit it off. They moved out of the country, and we all lost touch.

Many times over the years, I've harassed my husband to try and track them down. I've missed them and wished, maybe even prayed, we'd find them. Then, out of the blue, my husband received message on Facebook. There he was. They live only an hour away from us! All because of Facebook and some divine intervention.

Small Groups

We were learning about steps to improve our relationship with God at church yesterday. With pen in hand, I am armed to take meticulous notes. The first step was daily quiet time. No problem! My pen halted abruptly at step two, participate in a small group. What? Why? It isn't like we haven't heard this before. We were even a part of a couples small group before we had children. Over the years our conflicting schedules have made small group attendance extinct. Either there are no good times or no child care. But of course those are only the surface reasons for not going. Our reasons, although legit, are fostered by a basic distrust of church folks.

Growing up as a pk, I saw a lot in church. Much of it ugly. When you hear other Christians gossipping about their group members, you decide there is no point in setting yourself up for disappointment. I can get two-faced friends anywhere. So pastor said, "It's time to trust again." The statement spoke to me. I realized that perhaps it was, no is, my own expectations that set me up for failure. We're all human. Fallen and broken. We will sin. I need to stop judging and realize that Christians are saved by grace. So I'm searching for a group now and looking forward to new relationships.

The Best of Times

Recently a friend of mine posted a photo on Facebook and tagged me in it. This picture took me back almost 13 years ago to a time when the economy was good, and my life was pretty carefree. The image brought with it a rush of memories.

I enjoyed reading what everyone else wrote about the picture. The picture was taken on a camping trip that we took after graduation. It was filled with adventure and so much laughter. We got lost in the woods even though boy scouts were with us. We enjoyed food cooked over a campfire and the beautiful scenery of the water falls. I'm so thankful our parents trusted us enough to let us go.

It was one of the happiest memories of growing up. The beauty is that I has so many good friends that the great memories abound. I had the time of my life in junior high and high school. My friends were good people, and we did not get into trouble together. We had good clean legal fun. Movies and lots of eating. Some times just hanging out at one another's house or the Dairy Queen. I thank God for friends and for Facebook and amazing memories.

Welcome 2009

New years are always full of high hopes. Plans to lose weight, save money, go back to school... You get the picture. At the end of the year, how many of us look back with regrets at how many resolutions are left unfulfilled? This year, I did not make resolutions. I was too lazy to do so! Plus, I thought, "what's the point?"

My plan is based on a scripture I read recently.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT) says this:
¹⁶ All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong andteaches us to do what is right.
¹⁷ God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.
(courtesy of www.bible.com )

I want to use this year seeking God's will for my life, and I will use
scripture to guide me. My goal is 100% focus, because God won't accept less. As we begin a new year together, pray for me, and I will also pray for each of you. We are all here with a unique purpose, as Pastor Rick Warren wrote in his best seller The Purpose Driven Life. If I don't fulfill my purpose, there is no one else on earth uniquely created to do so. That's quite a privilege and responsibility.

Shout Out

Thanks to my girls for the support. And folks say women can't get along! It's good to have good friends to read and comments on here. You know who you are. My heart is overflowing. I miss you a lot, but you have a permanent place in my heart and in our family. I look forward to sharing many more thoughts with you. I love you!