Short, Slinky Spandex

How many of you find yourself comparing your appearance to others? I don't do this often, but I did it yesterday. What I'm sharing with you is deeply personal, so please handle it with kid gloves.

As you all know, I gave birth to our third child last year. Many people tell me that I look "great" or "you don't look like you've had three kids." I politely thank them and go on my way. While compliments are nice, they don't mean squat if you don't buy them.

Last night I attended my brother-in-law's wedding. So of course I was surrounded by young women with no husband and no children. Since Tre was in the wedding, I had the two younger children. The eldest was the flower girl, but became my charge after the ceremony. I did have some help from my sister-in-law and another one to be, but I they're lightweights! My kids wore us all out. They were tired and cranky, and I was almost to tears before it was all over. Anyway...

The waifs were everywhere. For the first real time, I felt like covering my gray hairs. I felt older and more tired and bigger than so many! It was a strange feeling for me, and I'm not sure why it hit when it did.

Perhaps it was the overly tight, overly short dresses were in huge supply. While I have never dressed like that, it was because of my morals, not because I couldn't pull it off. Now it's a little bit of both. Clothes cover a multitude of sins. Baby pouches are unglamorous, and when you hate crunches and love cheesecake as much as I, you may always have one! The other thing is that even though my scale tells me I am the same as I was before babies, the weight is distributed differently, and gravity is against me! I guess I can't be a convincing Catwoman this Halloween.

I guess it's a good thing I have a God that looks at me from the inside out and loves me anyway. If I decide to get serious about exercising, maybe I'll be the one in the short, slinky spandex at the next reception. Or maybe not.

How Weight Affects How I Feel About Me

I was reading about Jessica Alba, an actress who recently had a baby. She talked about the difficulty of her workouts. She was so adamant about regaining her pre-baby body that she worked herself into tears. All of this was so she could be "perfect" for a photo shoot. Apparently the workouts were more painful than the delivery, she recently told People magazine. She also shares her secrets for looking slimmer.

So this made me think... My friend and I gave birth one month apart back in 2003. When she returned to work, she looked great! She told me that she had a good girdle. I bought one immediately. One of my greatest fears about having a baby was gaining weight that I could never get rid of. We've all heard people say, "She really let herself go". Thankfully, someone else told me that nursing was a built-in way to lose the weight after baby. It was also true. I was pleasantly surprised.

So, now that I am over thirty, my metabolism has slowed down, but my love for eating hasn't! While my clothes still fit, sometimes I feel "heavy". So I have started to pay more attention to my meals. Not how much, but the content. Being a working mom sometimes causes me to compromise the quality of meals. I'm sure many of you know what I'm speaking of.

So while I refuse to work myself to tears, I do have a responsibility to care for the body I was given. Staying at my current size makes me feel good about what I see in the mirror. While I'm far from obsessed, I am paying more attention. I'm practicing better eating habits for health and wellness. I'm also learning not to be so hard on myself. I can't compare myself to millionaires who spend fortunes on lipo, trainers and botox. I also cannot airbrush myself before leaving each day. So I guess I have to get used to the changes childbirth brought and thank God for my little cherubs each time I see a stretch mark!

The Good Girl Wins!

As you know, The Biggest Loser is one of my favorite shows. It just started back, and I am thrilled. The winner of last season was Michelle. I was happy and relieved to see her win. All throughout there was nastiness disguised as "game play". I did not want those who played in such a vindictive way to be rewarded for their cunning. She treated her competition with respect and played the game with honor. At the end, the nice girl won the money and an amazing new body. I guess the good guy doesn't really finish last.

I Know What Sausage Links Feel Like

The other day I put on one of my favorite pairs of jeans. Usually when they get washed, it takes a few hours for them to loosen up and fit perfectly again. However, after wearing them all day, they still felt like I may need to be surgically removed from them. The button hole seemed to have magically moved too far away from the button. The zipper kept "sticking". The thigh portion shrunk! I was appalled. Especially when I realized the problem isn't the jeans.

Every year I look forward to the holidays so that I can eat like food is going out of style. However, I'm not as young as I once was, and my metabolism is not my friend. I tend to exercise in spurts. I love food, so I eat what I want. While I don't eat large portions usually, I never met a milkshake I didn't like. I'm all about moderation, and I think diet is a bad word. But... I think the time has come for me to exercise more regularly. Perhaps Wii Sports doesn't really count. Maybe I should eat oatmeal instead of donuts or muffins for breakfast.

While this all sounds good in theory, I don't know if I will really change. While I like exercise, I don't like getting up early. I wake before 5:30 for work as it is. What's a girl to do?

I guess I am forced to regard my body as the temple that it is. (I Cor 3:16)
It is a gift from God, no matter how big or small. Even if I am a little fluffier than I'd like to be, I still love me. I am paying more attention to my fruit and veggie intake. I think I'll play more Wii Sports. Someday maybe we'll even find Wii Fit. In gratitude and obedience to God, I will exhibit more self-control in caring for my body. Pray hard girls. Cheesecake calls to me!

Zipper Photo courtesy of Insashi via Flickr Creative Commons

Good TV

One of my favorite television shows is The Biggest Loser. Because of it, Tuesday nights are something I look forward to. If you've never had the pleasure of seeing it, you're missing out.

The show is about people struggling to lose weight in order to enhance and even save their lives. They have already tried everything else, and this is the last resort. Most are at least 100 pounds too heavy.

What I like is their spirit. I like watching the improvements they make each week, and how hard they work to do so. I always cheer for them and find myself sucked into their struggle. It makes me want to work harder toward my goals and not give up when things are difficult.

I find that perseverance is necessary in every aspect of life. If you are having a hard time motivating yourself these days, tune in sometime and see if you don't feel encouraged afterward.

Naked and Happy

Recently I watched a popular show on Lifetime. It features a man teaching women how to feel confident about themselves no matter what their size. I liked the concept, so I decided to tune in.

The episode I watched was a mother/daughter duo. The daughter was developing low self-esteem as a result of watching her mother berate herself each time she had a chance to do so.

The host took them through a couple of exercises and gave some good pep talks. It ended with the mother doing an almost totally nude photo shoot and the daughter in a bikini for a magazine. They did seem to learn to love themselves, but I couldn't help but think that it won't last.

A couple of things:

The host is an openly gay man. Is it really possible for women to define their beauty by the standards of one who is attracted to other men?

The women who had been told how beautiful they already looked were given extensive makeovers.

What about addressing the psychological reasons why women are so hard on themselves? Television and Media to name two.

After giving birth to 2 children in 3 years, my body parts will never again return to where they used to be. If any of you have breastfed, I am sure you have thrown all of your bikinis away. If not, the stretch marks on your thighs and stomachs have given you another reason to discard skimpy swimsuits and form fitting shirts.

The reality that my body will never look the same was enough to make me cry at first. But there was a person in my life constantly telling me how beautiful I was. I could not believe him. I know some of you have been there. Maybe you are there now.

Deep in my heart, I believe that our beauty, our true beauty is found inside. And we learn to appreciate it by remembering our Creator. He created us "fearfully and wonderfully " .
(Ps. 139:14)

For those of us with daughters, they are watching. So next time you get out of the shower, stop sucking in long enough to take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. Take in all of the flaws. Try to notice some things that you love about you. And if you just can't do it. Remember the One who made you. Ask him to love what you have. Stretch marks, extra pounds, saggy boobs and all.

All day dreamin'

Now that I'm blogging, I'm a little obsessed. I find myself thinking about what to write at the weirdest times, like when I should be sleeping.

I started exercising again. I record shows on FitTV and do them when I can. The one that I find interesting is called Shimmy. It's belly dance! My husband thinks it great, of course. But I think it's really fun, too. Of course I don't look quite as smooth as the dancers on the screen.

Have any of you ever tried replicating exercise shows or classes? Sometimes I just make myself laugh. I don't know how many calories I'm burning, but I'm having a blast trying!