Together is Better than Separate

How do we impact a world filled with women who chase after things that only destroy them?  How do we influence a generation of women who love celebrities more than self-esteem?  How do we impact a population of women who use sex as currency and live with permanent scars because of it?  How do we divert a train wreck already in progress?

This is where my heart is this morning and always.  Why?  Because I have 2 daughters and 1 son who are growing up in this world filled with darkness and so little light.  Why?  Because I care, not only about my babies, but about yours too.

I can't just sit back and watch as their minds and hearts are destroyed by fabrications and misguided notions.

While searching for news this morning, I saw image after image of half-naked young women posed in provocative positions.  I found celebrity "marriages" and babies born outside of marriage.  I saw divorces and myriad other things to mourn.  These are the images that meet us when we turn on our televisions or log on to our computers.  They meet our daughters and sons as well.  And what do they say?

The images say, "This is what love looks like."

But this isn't true love.  It is impossible to positively influence our children if we don't FIRST address the holes in ourselves.  We have a responsibility to them and to ourselves and each other.  

If you are tired of having your daughters longing to emulate half-naked tweens, join me.  If you're tired of your friends using "real" housewives as role models, join me.  If you believe there is more to life than fame and fashion, join me.  If you want true love and peace in your life, join me.  

I believe in 2 or 3 (Matt. 18:20).

Together we can change the world:  Broken Rubies united for one cause.  Women with broken hearts and broken lives, joined together to embrace the priceless rubies within.  We are flawed women,  beautiful gems (TM). 

Please join me:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Broken-Rubies/292572877457287

A Marriage Nightmare

I intend to update you on my last post as soon as I wrap my head around everything that entails.

In the meantime, I wanted to share an article with you about choosing a spouse.  A couple of my small group friends shared this article, so I decided to check it out.

I'll warn you that you will need more than a few minutes to check it out, however, I think it's well worth it if you are in a relationship or longing for a spouse...

I've been married for almost 13 years, and I can't stress the importance of being wise when marrying enough.  Marriage is a very serious thing.

Here's the link... http://thechristianpundit.org/2012/08/15/it/

Please come back and share your thoughts on it with me.

Here is my disclaimer:  I am new to the site and source of this article, so I am only suggesting this article because I read it myself.  I may not condone every single point, but I do support the sentiment.

Babies Everywhere

If you've been reading for a while, you know I often have questions about the things that puzzle me.  I often wonder if I am the only one scratching her head when something odd crosses my radar.  So what am I wondering about today?  Pregnancy.  

No, I am not pregnant, nor do I want to be pregnant.  I have paid my debt to society and obeyed the command to "be fruitful and multiply" :)  What I am wondering about is whether or not you think pregnancy is sacred and about whether or not we encourage unwed pregnancies in our society.

Please don't think I am being a judge, because that is not my intention.  Often, a single, pregnant woman signifies the fact that she bravely chose to allow her baby to live instead of ending its life.  But that's not what I'm talking about today.

What made me ask these questions is the nude spread a very pregnant, single celebrity recently did.  The other is a photo of two very young, single women posing at a baby shower.

While I don't believe unwed mothers should be stoned or persecuted, I do wonder if the shame and stigma that used to be associated with bringing children into the world outside of marriage, is missing.  

Does the fear of being embarrassed help to deter us from making poor decisions?   If that is the case, are we glamorizing single mothers with many of the shows that we find on television now and the choices of celebrities?  Are we doing ourselves and our girls a disservice?  What do you think?

If it Feels Good

While catching up on a drama via DVR a few days ago, I found myself speechless.  I won't say what show I was watching, but I will say I probably won't be watching it for much longer.  One woman, who is currently separated from her husband, was telling her friend about a sexual affair she's involved in with another man.  She is asking for advice about casual sex.

Their exchange goes something like this:

Are you having fun?
Yes.
Well if you're having fun, and it makes you happy, I wouldn't change a thing.
You're right.

She continues having the affair.  I had to rewind it twice to make sure I heard it correctly.  Wow.  What kind of advice is that?  Basically she gave her carte blanche to do whatever feels good.  I would expect this kind of advice to come from a tween perhaps, but not a grown woman.

I have found myself watching much less TV lately.  I used to enjoy the mindlessness of watching funny shows or compelling dramas or even inspiring reality shows.  The problem I'm having is that everything seems laced with excessive negative drama and/or illicit sex.

The messages are poisonous.  It's no wonder marriages are in trouble.  It's no wonder girls and women are fooled into believing the Real Housewives lives and acting desperately.  Television is sending such powerful messages to us even if we don't realize it.  The media has the ability to chip away at one's values and replace sound thinking with nonsense.

I am not implying that television is evil.  Anything has the ability to be evil.  I am simply suggesting the we carefully choose the things we allow into our homes through our television.

Ask yourself:
1.  Does this show cause me to have impure thoughts?
2.  Does it make me dissatisfied with my real life?
3.  Do I feel guilty after watching it?
4.  Does it compromise my morals?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to rethink your tv choices.  I know I am.

I Hate Weddings

My heart is full this morning. As many of you may know, I hate weddings. It may seem odd that a woman hates weddings, but it's true. I hate them passionately. Here's why...

Once upon a time a wedding was a representation of something sacred. It was a symbol of the commitment before God and each other to work at a holy marriage together, forever. With a 50% divorce rate, we've clearly strayed away from that idea. Divorce is an acceptable option now, and it's expected. Few work at staying married, each too concerned with his own happiness over God's holiness. The ceremony is filled with false promises.

The other reason I hate weddings is the white dress and the veil covering the bride's face. Why is this done? A white dress is a symbol of virginity, and the veil signifies modesty and purity. Do I really need to elaborate? Well, I don't mind if I do.

Today Prince William married Kate Middleton. I saw her "lovely" white dress and virginal veil splashed over Yahoo, and I shook my head. They were away on vacation together when he proposed. They moved in together before the wedding, and with the blessing of the Archbishop! He justified giving his blessing because "modern" couples want to "try out the milk before buying the cow"! Click here for the complete article.

Why the veil? What are you covering when the groom has already sampled everything? Why the white? Are we to believe they've been sleeping alone? Instead of setting an example for all of the young girls watching, they bowed to modernity like so many others before. It's so sad that an archbishop would forsake the Bible and bless their choice.

I want my daughters and son to aspire to wear white honestly. Our society has taken away the meaning. Brides are secretly scoffed at when they choose to do so and haven't earned it. Others simply wear creme or champagne since savvy designers have declared white "outdated" and off white colors "chic". Weddings are about more than "tradition", and we should treat them as such. They should not be a show. One should not say vows before a God that they do not honor with their lives. It's not a requirement, is it?

I am not trying to be harsh, and I welcome your thoughts. I am not trying to be judgmental, as it is my intention to edify. But I do not apologize for speaking truth from God's word. We are commanded to do nothing less.

While fashion trends change, God word doesn't. Sex is to be reserved for marriage. Teaching anything less is to rob ourselves and our children of what married love is meant to be. We can not teach a gospel that follows trends and modern thought. That is faulty at the core. Our lives should conform to the Bible. It is time that Christians stand up and be an example. Let the white of our wedding attire represent the purity in our lives.

Photo from Charliesbridal.com

Lost in 1812

What is it about inspirational historical fiction that gets women so sappy? Why do these authors sell so many books? Who wants to live in the past? What's the big deal? What does the 19th century have that the 21st doesn't?

Innocence. That's the difference. The women are not brazen. They still *blush*, and they actually wear undergarments (sort of). They are not showing so much skin that the men are blushing. They are not chasing men and throwing themselves at them. They are concerned with being a woman of virtue. They are concerned with being a GODLY wife and mother and with having a godly husband.

These differences make these books appealing to those who feel that we have lost much in this so-called progressive generation. Progression is only good when it makes us better. What we have now is not better, no matter how good we women are at lying to ourselves and each other.

Men have not changed what they want in wives. No one wants to marry the girl who has given herself to everyone and shows no signs of slowing down. They still want something to be left to
the imagination. Most probably think a home-cooked meal is a lovely bonus.

Perhaps we should take a page out of 1812 an reinvent 21st century womanhood with that as an example. It doesn't mean we have to pretend to be helpless or stupid, although it doesn't hurt to make a man feel needed. It does mean we should stop using sexuality to manipulate men. It means we should cover up and guard our tongues. It means we should strive more to be a Proverbs 31 woman, and less like a Cosmo girl. For a good example, read The English Garden
Series by Lori Wick.

Weaker and Wiser

My mom always says that each generation is weaker but wiser. Lately I've been wondering what that really means. I'm starting to think it means more knowledgeable but much more stupid.

There is so much technology that teens can find out anything on the phone in the palm of their hands. Texting has replaced talking. But in this Google age, are the teens in your life smarter or worse for the wear?

I love technology, so please don't think I'm bashing technology. I just think many teens are too smart (literally), for their own good. Parents can't keep up, and many don't bother trying. In the mean time we are losing a generation of young people to the devil's many snares.

They are losing their virginity at alarming rates. The generations before are successfully teaching our young women to set their standards low and keep them there. They have heard the message loud and clear. It's time for us to do better.

We are to be an example. We need to stop settling, and stop lying to ourselves and anyone else who is fool enough to listen. We need to be real friends to each other and lovingly call our girls out when we see them slipping in patterns of stupidity. You've been challenged, and called out. Now what are you gonna do about it?

Playing the Game

"I am doing what most American women have forgotten how to do, I am holding out until I get the respect that I deserve." Jason (The Game)

The sitcom, The Game returned to television last night after a long absence. While watching, I was struck by the above listed quote by the ball player. He was previously a star but felt disrespected by his team. He had decided to hold out for a contract that he could appreciate, one that compensated his talent and experience.

Although he was referring to his contract, what he said about American women was profound, and it really stayed with me. The statement is so true, it's sad! The good majority of American women barely hold out for a meal, let alone a marriage! I don't feel the need to bog us down with statistics because it isn't necessary.

Girls, we know that most of our friends will sleep with a man under any circumstance. He might be married, or my favorite, separated. She may have one of those "no strings attached" arrangements. The notion of saving sex for love does not exist, so waiting for marriage isn't even an option for most young women today.

The standards are low, and the consequences are extreme. Yet, in spite of the risks and repercussions, promiscuity abounds. Women need to return to being standard bearers. Stop sleeping with multiple men. Hold out until we get the respect that we deserve. In order to earn respect, we must act and dress respectfully and adhere to the highest precepts. We have a choice.

The Death of Self-Respect

When I first started to date my mother gave me some tips (really threats, but tips is more P.C.), about how to conduct myself. She gave me money so that I could always get home on my own if necessary and pay for my own meal or movie. She told me not to accept gifts from men all willy nilly. Nothing is free. She would not permit me to call boys on the phone, they had to call me. "Chasing" men was strictly prohibited. Most of this stuff sounded completely insane to me. Not any more.

As I watch a culture of women "chase" men, I want to put them alone in a room with my mother so she can talk some sense into them. I'm tired of seeing strong, educated, intelligent women throw themselves at anyone with an XY chromosome complement. I do not want to continue to witness the complete loss of standards as women shack up with men indefinitely as they test out the product and try to decide if they're in love enough to "put a ring on it" as Beyonce' says. (although the Chipettes do it better in my opinion, but I digress)

Will this epidemic ever be remedied? Why are women settling for men just because they have the sperm necessary to shut up the biological clock? Why are women taking international trips with perfect strangers just because he's paying? Why are women content to share a married man with his wife just to avoid a few lonely nights? When did we forget to value ourselves? When and why did this shift take place? How can these fault lines be eradicated before generations of brilliant, beautiful women are swept away in their wake? This breaks my heart.

I don't want to answer these questions yet. Partially because I don't have many answers. Mostly because I really want to hear from all of you. Please leave comments. Tell your mamas to leave comments. Send your crazy friends over, and tell them to comment. I know each of you knows someone that you've secretly dreamt of smacking because they fit into one of the aforementioned categories. Here's your chance to vent. I'm waiting...

Abstinence is Unrealistic

Everyone knows that Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol recently delivered a son. The unwed mom is 18 and is allegedly engaged to her boyfriend. So here's my thing...

Bristol's mother ran on an "abstinence only" platform when she became governor of Alaska. While I agree that stuff happens, sex isn't typically one of those things. Unless you are sexually assaulted or inebriated, you don't just find yourself a victim of surprise sex. One thing, as the saying goes, doesn't really lead to another.

In a recent article, Governor Palin was reported as saying abstinence is not a realistic expectation for everyone. Her daughter apparently echoed those sentiments. I know that abstinence teaching has been under fire since its inception. While abstinence is difficult, it is NOT unrealistic.

Doing right is never easy. Our human nature is sinful, and doing wrong seems like more fun. However, not teaching abstinence just because it's hard, is a huge cop-out and a disservice to young people everywhere. There are days when I find it hard to drive without wanting to run someone off the road. There are times when I've wanted to tell my supervisor that he has no idea what he's doing. Perhaps there are times when I would like to take my husband and make out with him in the back of church. But I don't do these things because there are rules and standards in place.

Abstinence is no different. I have 2 children, and we will teach them to abstain until they are married. We will educate them thoroughly. Will is be easy? No. It wasn't for us. Neither were most of the other things my parents expected of me. Is indulging myself more fun? Absolutely. But there are always consequences. Always. I have more faith in my children than to say, "I expect you to obey, but if it's too hard, feel free not to do it." Give me a break. Who decides which of God's laws to obey? Do we only follow the easy ones?

At what point do we as parents set godly standards for our children and expect them to abide. I realize that people make mistakes, I make plenty. But I can not lower my standards as a result of my failures. I believe that children, just like adults, are capable of rising to meet high standards. We see it everyday. If nothing is expected, that's what we get. Few people excel when no one has expectations for them.

While I applaud the Palins for giving the child a chance at life, I would like to see the Republican governor stand firmly behind her previous statements and not adjust them to fit her daughter's current circumstances. I'm hoping that this article is only a snapshot of how where she stands. Technically speaking, abstinence is not realistic for ANYONE. It requires discipline.... Just like everything else in life.

I Need a Man (Pt 4)

As February comes to a close, I'm closing (or maybe pausing) this series.

Value yourself. Demand respect.

The other parts of the series elude to this. Finding value starts with understanding and embracing who you are because of God's love for you. Accepting the fact that you are a princess because your Father is the King. Carrying yourself like a woman of virtue. Keep your own standards high.

Embrace the parts of yourself that you aren't too thrilled with. If you have too many curves and don't love them, lose weight. Start small. Eat less. Exercise. Bad skin, see a dermatologist
or get good make-up.

I'm constantly saddened by the ways we as women will reduce ourselves to the lowest levels in order to attract or keep a man. There are no limits. We will dress in inappropriate ways. Participate in activities we feel uncomfortable with. We will date married men. When we look at our reflections, the person in view is a stranger.

I'm having a hard time writing this because as I do, I am thinking of girls who've sold out their closest friends to win a guy, only to end up divorcing him after he cheated. Of the young woman who's sleeping with a married man by telling herself, he really wants me. I'm remembering the wrong guys that I dated, knowing they were wrong for me from day one.

Women, we wield power. Men do what they are permitted to do. If you say no to sex, they say no, too. Unless you've chosen a criminal... Don't play games. Stop advertising all of your assets. Hold him accountable. Make him want to respect you. Let that marinate. I love you girls! Love you too. Our Dad does.

Dreaming of Sex

While riding home after work on Friday, I was chatting with my daughter about her day at school. I like to use this time to hear all about what she learned and who she's "unfriended" today. It started out as an ordinary conversation, but soon took a turn to the outrageous! She tells me her classmate dreamed of having sex with one of the older boys! What?!! How?!! Why?!! You can imagine my horror.

First of all, these kids are 5-6 years of age. Do they even know what sex is? If so, why? So, I began to talk to myself quickly. "Calm down, or she will stop talking. Deep breaths. It's not as bad as it sounds." It was.

I asked her what sex is. She said it means "to show love." I was quiet. I responded, "Sex is something for married people only. It's not the same as love."

What struck me is that, my daughter told me, "It means to show love." How many adult women believe the same thing? We learn very young (too young, apparently), that love and sex and synonymous. While searching for love, we trade sex, and self-esteem suffers in the process.

So I've learned a couple of things from this encounter: Listen to my child, talk to her, pray for her often. If you have children, realize that they are growing up way too fast now, and it's scary. They have many other "teachers" besides us. Let's make our voice the loudest and most influential. Trust God to guide you on what to say and how to protect them. Be a positive example.

Dear God,
I thank you for entrusting me with such a precious daughter. Help me to love her as you love me. Give me the wisdom to raise her to love You first. Help me to build her self-esteem and encourage her to love herself deeply. Help us to nurture an open relationship with free-flowing conversation forever. Protect her from the dangerous outside influences. Help her to grow in grace and wisdom. To always carry herself like a lady, to be strong and smart. Shield her from the lies men tell, and let her find the male love that she needs in the arms of her father...until such a time as he walks her down the aisle. Amen.

Sincerely,
Her Mommy

Thanks to Yves for the beautiful pic

"Love happens when people forgive."

"Love happens when people forgive," is the recurring theme in Oceans Apart. This novel by Karen Kingsbury explores what happens when a husband cheats and conceals the affair for 8 years. When the woman he was with dies unexpectedly, Connor Evans is faced with some very hard decisions. The roller coaster ride that ensues will change he and his wife Michelle forever.

There is forgiveness unlimited that needs to happen. A forgiveness that is divine. There are hurts so deep that we are unable to forgive on our own. When a husband hurts you, God is often the only one who can restore the love and trust you shared.

I've actually read this book twice. The first in paperback, the second on audiobook. The first time, I was deeply moved and very touched by the story. The second time, I was transformed. I learned about forgiveness. True forgiveness. I called my husband and asked him to forgive me for being unforgiving.

There have been things that have happened in our lives, struggles we've had, that I have held against him. I thought I was "over it", but I was wrong. At first I felt justified, telling myself he made poor choices. Everyone makes mistakes. Holding a grudge created an impassable sea of hurt and bitterness. Although my husband has not been unfaithful, perhaps I treated him as though he was a murderer.

I think he had been trying to tell me that, but I was too busy focusing on what I saw as his failure to see what I was doing in turn. But this time, I heard him speak through the words of the author. We are moving forward now. I am learning to focus on his strengths and forgive his weakness. The operative word is learning. I have not arrived. The importance of growth is the basis for a vibrant faith.

The Word of God speaks often about forgiveness and judgement. Since it is mentioned a lot, it must be important. We are told that we can not be forgiven if we do not first forgive.
(see Matthew 6:14-15) If you are holding a grudge and the root of bitterness is growing inside you, embrace Oceans Apart, and allow God to speak to you through this inspirational fiction. Let the healing and restoration begin.

For more on forgiveness, click here.

Lingerie or Flannel Pajamas?

Several weeks ago, I was shopping with our children. In the process, I found a designer pajama set for a great price. It is a beautiful, silky cranberry. I was so excited! I know, it's sad how little it takes to make me happy. I had two things in mind: these will be sexy and comfortable! How often does that happen? I also figured I could wear them on Christmas morning and look presentable for pictures. I showed them to hubby when I got home, and he was definitely happy. One down. When I tried them on Christmas morning, I felt naked! I was freezing! Great. While they are comfortable, they are not warm.

So, I've decided they are more suited as lingerie. I am not really a lingerie kind of girl, usually. While it does make me feel sexy sometimes, it is cold and sometimes uncomfortable. So hubby and I had a very spirited debate the other day about lingerie as a gift. I think that's a gift for him, not me. While I have quite a collection, courtesy of my bridal shower, it doesn't get much use in our house. Mostly because we're often in a race before the children bust in on us. Partially because it just isn't necessary. All we need is opportunity!

My question is, what do you prefer: lingerie or comfie (not raggedy) jammies? Do you like receiving it as a present? You know, "Happy Mother's Day! I got you this from Fredricks of Hollywood!" Weigh in...

One Sensuous Woman

Here's an interesting view on married sexuality by my girl Shula: Sensuous Wife Blog

The story told here speaks of the power of God to heal us from horrible circumstances and free us to enjoy one of life's great pleasures.

Sexperimentation

I recently became aware of a 7-day sex challenge recommended by Pastor Ed Young of Fellowship Church in Dallas, TX. What he proposed is that his married members participate in creative sex for seven days in a row and then take inventory of their relationship afterward.

The buzz this challenge created made it all the way to CNN! I was impressed. The fact that CNN is taking notice of this man is quite an accomplishment in and of itself. I am pleased that Pastor Young does not ignore married sexuality the way many churches do. I am also happy to see that they encourage creativity and excitement.

However, I do understand many may have mixed views about this challenge. Many women may find this challenge oppressive and frustrating. What is you aren't "in the mood?" It may seem more like an obligation than an opportunity. I think if we can see the positives, we can all benefit.

Overall, I have seen many positive comments from the parishioners and positive press for sex that honors God. Kudos to Pastor Young and his beautiful wife.

Posing Nude

When I signed on today, I saw an article featuring Jennifer Aniston. At 39, she has posed nude (save a necktie) for the cover of an upcoming GQ magazine. I saw the cover, and she looks amazing! However, what's the point?

Most people agree that she is a beautiful woman, and I am not here to dispute this fact. My question is, what does she gain by sharing her naked body with the entire world? GQ is a men's mag, so we know that she is posing mostly for men. I honestly feel badly for Hollywood women who feel that they must share their bodies with fans in order to claim the spotlight.

I think this proves that women struggle with self-esteem and body image no matter what tax bracket they fall into. While her body is toned and shapely, I can't imagine that she just woke up one day and said, "I need to pose nude. It would make me feel good about myself." Even if she did, we know publicity is the real reason. I mean, look, I'm writing about it after seeing the article, so it's working for her.

In my youth, I have been guilty of wearing clothing strictly because I thought would attract male attention. As adults, do we still dress only to garner attention? I understand the motive, but it's very dangerous. Men are so visually stimulated. Do you really want your husband or teenage son bombarded with images of naked women when he stops in to grab milk at the grocery store?

It is bigger than self expression. While I am aware that she is free to do as she pleases, I believe we should consider the consequences of our actions. Just because we can, doesn't mean we should. What happens if she is a mom someday, and her son's teacher has her posted on his bedroom wall? I know that sex sells, but it shouldn't. Our bodies are temples, not made to be degraded.

More Crazy, Hot Sex!

I promise I do not look for books with sex in them, but I have stumbled onto some lately.... Debbie Macomber's Cedar Cove Series is a collection of stories that take place in Washington state. In 16 Lighthouse Road, we are introduced to several couples covering a spectrum of ages.

Not only did I fall in love with the characters, but I immediately got sucked into the storyline that begins with the disappearance of Grace's husband Dan. He just vanished without a trace, and she and her daughters are left to figure out where he is and why he left.

Now, the couple relationships are smokin' hot! They are passionate, respectful and red hot. I love it! Some have been married for weeks, while others for many years. Some are on a second marriage after a painful divorce or being widowed. No matter what, the physical love between them is evident. Macomber is not shy at all about providing vivid imagery.

As a married woman, I believe it's important to celebrate the marriage bed. While we are all presented with challenges in this department, God meant for it to be a gift for us. I am pleased to see this author celebrating married sex that's alive and filled with joy.

I Hate Wrinkles!

Each year I get a little older. Things are not quite the same as they used to be. When I got married, I was thin and perky! After several years and two children, some things have definitely changed.

So as my body changes and skin looses its elasticity, there are some questions I have to ask. When the crows feet come, will I want them tightened? Botox? When the boobs sag and deflate, should I get them filled out and lifted up? Should I give up on sit-ups and schedule a tummy tuck?

Is it vanity? Does it matter?

I think it does matter. How I look affects my self-esteem. It affects how I respond sexually. If I am in shape, I can function better in my daily life.

I like to enjoy what I see in the mirror. There's nothing wrong with that right? But how far is too far?




I can't obsess over my appearance, but I should take pride in myself. After all, my body is God's temple.


I don't know if there is a "right" answer. Just food for thought. I'd love to know what you think.

Let's Talk About Sex

I have a question for each of you. Why have sex? Do you do it out of obligation? As a part of your "wifely duty"? Do you perform because you know it's expected? Do you have an off-the-charts libido and just can't do without it? When you do fool around, what does it do for you? Besides for the obvious physical release you may experience, what else is there?

I tend to have this idealized point of view. Not only do I expect to see the moon and stars, but I also expect to gain a spiritual connection unparalleled by anything else on earth. It's not just about the end result for me, although it is a bonus. I like to feel special. Esteemed, valued and cherished.

There are often discrepancies between men and women's sex drives and needs. These often cause problems is relationships. Where do you find common ground? I'm not sure I know the answer. Media works against us. The way it looks on television and real life are very different. At times I wish I had the ability to turn it on at the drop of a hat.

Now don't get me wrong, there are times when there is nothing else I'd rather do, but at times it's the furthest thing from my mind. Is it okay to fake, or is this dishonest? I'd like to hear from you on this. A little girl talk.