Drop Out?

Most of you know that I've been a super busy student for the last few months, thus the decreased blogging. I am proud to report that I have not yet dropped out of school in spite of the excessive homework. This is probably the most difficult time I've had balancing my family. Work had set hours, so their was no interference with that time.

However, taking courses on line and taking care of my family have been quite challenging roles. For one, my littlest munchkin likes to press the power button as I'm pressing send on the screen. She is also fond of sitting on the keyboard while I'm typing papers. If that doesn't work, she just closes the laptop on my hands. Hmmm...

At times, I wonder if I am doing the right thing. "God, is this really what you want me to be doing at this stage of my life?" Then I realize that children have to learn that every hour of every day can not be dedicated to their every whim. There is nothing in the mommy handbook that says it should be. As long as I am taking care of their needs, and maybe a few wants, I have to let myself off the hook.

I am learning to invest in myself a little. I am working on not feeling guilty about it. I have learned that it is alright not to have a perfectly tidy home if it means I get to play with the kids when my homework is through. And so, for now, I will press toward the mark and persevere. Now if I can just decide what I want to be when I grow up...

Momma Had Homework

I apologize for neglecting each of you. I promise you, you've been in my heart. I'm on a journey right now. Filled with misadventures and crazy memories. The journey I'm on is philosophical in nature. I'm a student again, and boy is it interesting. I'll let you on to a little secret: I was scared to death to go back to school. Even though I've had a career, my brain has spent much of the last ten years in mommy mode. When you see a professor who has been teaching for a long time and is used to students that use big words all the time, it can be a bit intimidating.

My first week was spent cramming 6 chapters and a paper into 48 hours. Much of that time was spent stressing and pulling out my hair. Sadly, much of it was also spent making my family wish the crazy lady was still at work! I was unable to get into my class for a couple of days, and by the time I did, I was already behind. After a small nervous breakdown, I sent up a hurried prayer and invoked the powers of my phone's Kindle app. Within seconds I had the first book Whispersynced and in my hands. So glad I'm not a technophobe right now.

Although my routine has changed drastically over the last month, I am so happy and thankful for the changes. I feel alive and relevant. I know that I am in God's perfect will. Even though the immediate future is uncertain, I'm enjoying this ride. Living each day, in the words of Jill Scott, "like it's golden".

Image by Brenda Starr