This morning I woke up to the sad news that another young Hollywood star was found dead in his hotel room after an apparent overdose. My first thought was, "Another one?" Then I remembered seeing his smiling, vibrant face on the screen. I did not see the pain underneath, and it breaks my heart. I shook my head and sighed as I read the news reports detailing a troubled star with stints in rehab.
Then I thought of those of us who long to emulate any and everything we see in Hollywood. Celebrities are our role models. We strive to be "real" housewives and keep up with the Kardashians.
There is little to no focus on the character of the individuals we admire. We see only their beautiful cars and airbrushed faces and bodies. We lust after their mega mansions and flashy jewels. They have it all, so they're happy. Right?
We seem to miss the EMPTINESS that abounds inside of so many celebrities.
All of us know what it feels like to struggle with emptiness. It creates an ache inside, a pain so deep that we long for anything to help escape. That longing compels us to seek solace in any and every form. Sometimes that place is in a stranger's bed. At times we look in the bottom of a bottle or in a container of pills. Yet, peace is not found in those places for more than a few minutes.
True peace begins on the inside. It is nurtured by the Holy Spirit and rooted in Jesus Christ.
As long as we are in denial of that fact, we will continue to search for elusive peace. We won't find contentment at the end of a "cause". We won't find it once we get the ring. A baby won't do it. Neither will a bigger house and a shiny car soothe our broken hearts.
Only the Man who loves our souls can heal our hidden places and bring joy.
How do we impact a world filled with women who chase after things that only destroy them? How do we influence a generation of women who love celebrities more than self-esteem? How do we impact a population of women who use sex as currency and live with permanent scars because of it? How do we divert a train wreck already in progress?
This is where my heart is this morning and always. Why? Because I have 2 daughters and 1 son who are growing up in this world filled with darkness and so little light. Why? Because I care, not only about my babies, but about yours too.
I can't just sit back and watch as their minds and hearts are destroyed by fabrications and misguided notions.
While searching for news this morning, I saw image after image of half-naked young women posed in provocative positions. I found celebrity "marriages" and babies born outside of marriage. I saw divorces and myriad other things to mourn. These are the images that meet us when we turn on our televisions or log on to our computers. They meet our daughters and sons as well. And what do they say?
The images say, "This is what love looks like."
But this isn't true love. It is impossible to positively influence our children if we don't FIRST address the holes in ourselves. We have a responsibility to them and to ourselves and each other.
If you are tired of having your daughters longing to emulate half-naked tweens, join me. If you're tired of your friends using "real" housewives as role models, join me. If you believe there is more to life than fame and fashion, join me. If you want true love and peace in your life, join me.
Together we can change the world: Broken Rubies united for one cause. Women with broken hearts and broken lives, joined together to embrace the priceless rubies within. We are flawed women, beautiful gems (TM).
So I'm watching Mary, Mary, contemporary gospel superstars right now. The younger of the duo just found out she is expecting a fifth child and is feeling very overwhelmed as a result. She is talking to her husband about her feelings. He starts telling her that God will help them to handle the children and continue to give them all they need for them. She turns to him and says, "I'm not that spiritual right now." She says that she is just her plain old self right now.
Oh how that resonated with me. While I'm not expecting another child, I can totally relate to being overwhelmed. I can relate to wanting to just be me without thinking of what God's plan is at the moment. Sometimes I'm reeling too much to focus on where He is in the middle. I think it's normal. We just can't afford to stay there too long.
What do you think? When have you said or thought, "I'm just not that spiritual right now?" How long did it take for you to refocus your attention on the Man in charge of it all, the One who gives us peace?
If you've been reading for a while, you know I often have questions about the things that puzzle me. I often wonder if I am the only one scratching her head when something odd crosses my radar. So what am I wondering about today? Pregnancy.
No, I am not pregnant, nor do I want to be pregnant. I have paid my debt to society and obeyed the command to "be fruitful and multiply" :) What I am wondering about is whether or not you think pregnancy is sacred and about whether or not we encourage unwed pregnancies in our society.
Please don't think I am being a judge, because that is not my intention. Often, a single, pregnant woman signifies the fact that she bravely chose to allow her baby to live instead of ending its life. But that's not what I'm talking about today.
What made me ask these questions is the nude spread a very pregnant, single celebrity recently did. The other is a photo of two very young, single women posing at a baby shower.
While I don't believe unwed mothers should be stoned or persecuted, I do wonder if the shame and stigma that used to be associated with bringing children into the world outside of marriage, is missing.
Does the fear of being embarrassed help to deter us from making poor decisions? If that is the case, are we glamorizing single mothers with many of the shows that we find on television now and the choices of celebrities? Are we doing ourselves and our girls a disservice? What do you think?
While catching up on a drama via DVR a few days ago, I found myself speechless. I won't say what show I was watching, but I will say I probably won't be watching it for much longer. One woman, who is currently separated from her husband, was telling her friend about a sexual affair she's involved in with another man. She is asking for advice about casual sex.
Their exchange goes something like this:
Are you having fun? Yes. Well if you're having fun, and it makes you happy, I wouldn't change a thing. You're right.
She continues having the affair. I had to rewind it twice to make sure I heard it correctly. Wow. What kind of advice is that? Basically she gave her carte blanche to do whatever feels good. I would expect this kind of advice to come from a tween perhaps, but not a grown woman.
I have found myself watching much less TV lately. I used to enjoy the mindlessness of watching funny shows or compelling dramas or even inspiring reality shows. The problem I'm having is that everything seems laced with excessive negative drama and/or illicit sex.
The messages are poisonous. It's no wonder marriages are in trouble. It's no wonder girls and women are fooled into believing the Real Housewives lives and acting desperately. Television is sending such powerful messages to us even if we don't realize it. The media has the ability to chip away at one's values and replace sound thinking with nonsense.
I am not implying that television is evil. Anything has the ability to be evil. I am simply suggesting the we carefully choose the things we allow into our homes through our television.
Ask yourself:
1. Does this show cause me to have impure thoughts?
2. Does it make me dissatisfied with my real life?
3. Do I feel guilty after watching it?
4. Does it compromise my morals?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to rethink your tv choices. I know I am.
He's humble, and he wins games. He doesn't get into trouble off the field. Yet, he's ridiculed and despised by sports writers and analysts everywhere. Why? Oh, he's a Christian. Why is Tim Tebow being persecuted for his faith?
I don't watch much football, but we've all heard about this guy who wasn't expected to win. Yet week after week he's been confounding the almighty sports "psychics" who think they know what's coming. Favor, anyone?
I feel convicted watching this quiet servant pray and give glory to God. Is my public faith obvious enough to draw ridicule, or have I been flying low under the radar? How about you? Has anyone "mistaken" you for a Christ-follower recently? Why or why not?
Last week I stumbled into a mini firestorm. Apparently real women are not en vogue right now for modeling. The H&M clothing company has decided to use virtual models for swim suit and lingerie models. They've been criticized heavily for this choice. They were accused of "creating unrealistic physical ideals" by a Norwegian company in the ABC News article I read, while the company defends its position to simply show off the clothes.
What I'm trying to figure out is how this is any different from the live models that are usually used especially for these types of clothing? My body doesn't look like a swimsuit model's, and I have no illusions that it does. So if most women don't look like models, how is this affecting the self image of women any worse that live models? Help me out. Am I missing something. Real of virtual? Does it make a difference?
By now we have all gotten the news of Bin Laden's demise. There have been various responses to the news. Shock. Doubt. Elation.
The other day I saw people marching and cheering and chanting with glee over the death of the this creepy terrorist. Though I thought it odd, it never occurred to me that it might be wrong.
That's when I saw a post on Facebook from one of my favorite authors, Liz Curtis Higgs. She posted Proverbs 24:17. It says: " Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice." Ouch!
Kudos to her for her willingness to take this very unpopular stance. I, for one, appreciated the reminder. Following God's will for us is often unpopular, but He calls us to be set apart.
President Obama has also declined to release the graphic photos of the body and the site. I have heard people asking for them, but he too has taken a stand. He stated, "That's not who we are. We don't trot out this stuff as trophies." I can remember being disturbed by images of Saddam Hussein hanging while crowds jeered, and I am grateful we were spared this time.
During a bout of sleeplessness the other night, I woke up and saw something strange on TV. A man was taking a drink from some other guy's arm. Yes, you heard me right. I had no idea what I was watching. I still don't know what it was. I do know, I found it disturbing. The other thing that caught me off guard was a bizarre ritual some woman was performing. She was apparently a vampire and was summoning some powers from somewhere and causing party goers to dance provocatively and perform other immoral acts.
It's clear I caught the tail end of some vampire series, but as usual, I started thinking. Is there a spiritual aspect of vampires? Are there any ramifications for believers who watch these shows? My questions are based on the uneasy feeling I was left with after just a short time watching. I also wonder about the erotic nature of these beings. I've begun to do research and plan to learn more as time progresses. With the popularity of shows such as True Blood and Twilight, I think this is a topic in need of exploration.
When a spouse cheats, many lives are changed irrevocably. Lately, infidelity has been gracing the pages of magazines and television headlines. While I have no idea what is wrong with these men, I'm more curious about the women beside them. While I know women cheat, I'm focusing mostly on men because they're the ones saturating the media right now.
The numbers of men in high-powered, influential positions who have devastated and demoralized their wives lately is fascinating to me! What I find even more amazing is the fact that the wives, more often than not, stay right there. Whether standing beside him as he fakes a tearful public apology or trying hard to smile in dignity as she publicly appears with him at a social event, the wives "stand by their man". My question is, "WHY?"
I don't stand in judgment of these victimized women. I feel sorry for them. I hate that they married men who are so cowardly that they cannot tell their wives in private before news of his infidelity is scrolling across CNN during the nightly news. I hate that the father of their children is barely fit to breathe, let alone be an example for their sons. I do wonder why women blame themselves for affairs. Why do they ask what short comings they have that caused their husbands to cheat? Why do they put up with it?
I have often argued with my husband that men will drop a cheating wife like a bad habit, and women will actually beg the cheater to come back to them?!
So that is my question to each of you: Are women more likely to reconcile with a cheater than men? If so, why do you think so? I would love to hear your thoughts. Don't leave me hanging!
When George W. Bush was elected to a second term, I remember hearing a popular slogan in churches and throughout the Christian media outlets: "Vote the Bible." Hmmm. Hold that thought.
In this most recent election, I heard Christians saying that they had to vote according to their convictions. Hmmm.
So recently, I've been thinking. According to Politico.com, Senator John Ensign of Nevada recently resigned from his post after news of his extramarital affair surfaced and scandals swirled around it. This same article references Sen. Larry Craig's involvement in a sex sting 2 years ago. And still again Sen. David Vitter was caught up in a prostitution ring! Most recently South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was caught in a lie as news of his adulterous affair with a woman from Argentina surfaced.
Besides for being men without self-control or respect for their wives, what else do these men have in common? Give up? They are all Republicans. Why does this matter? Here's why. For years, Christians have associated Republicans with morality. Based upon abortion views and gay marriage primarily. My problem is that Christians actually believe one party is more moral than the other. Since when do politics and Christianity go together?
The danger with placing ourselves on a moral pedestal is just this. Each of these Republican leaders is guilty of sexual sins. Are these sexual sins equal to or better than homosexual sex? Is it better to be in a heterosexual marriage and cheat or to be in a gay relationship and be faithful? Christians have placed themselves in a position to be ridiculed by the masses. People do not take us seriously. By saying things like "Vote the Bible", we imply that "our" candidate is like a representative of Christ. Dangerous.
To be Republican officials, these men are required to say that they agree with the staples that make up their party's platform. While I do not advocate abortion or gay marriage, I do believe abortion will be legal until the end of time, regardless of the party in office. I also believe gay marriage will become legal. I'm not sure if voting for a candidate for what they say they believe is enough. Who cares, if they don't change anything?
For those of you who are angry with me, let me make a couple of statements. I do not think Democrats are Christians either. An individual may be a Christian, but not the party. Pretending to be a believer is very lucrative because Christians are often gullible. I do not believe presidents are representative of the Bible in any way. I do not believe we have a Christian country either. I'm not sure where that idea comes from. I am also NOT implying that these men are anything but human. Christians commit these same sins. My point is that, in my opinion, the church should not be affiliated with a party. I'm sure you all have something to say, and I am actually looking forward to hearing it.
When we celebrated our daughter's birthday, the party, naturally, spilled over to our house. While relaxing on the couch, my sister-in-law picked up one of my mags. Today's Christian Woman has been one of my faves for several years. When she looked at the cover, she said, "Why is she on the cover of a Christian magazine?"
She is Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8. So this got me thinking. Why the shock about this cover model? Then I thought back to when I first received the issue - I had the same question. I never knew that she professed Christianity. I did read the feature, and she said all of the right Christian things, so she checks out, I guess. Maybe not.
According to Matthew 7:15-20, the way we tell a true believer is by the fruit they bear. With this in mind, no person should be surprised to learn that a person is a Christ follower. Celebrity is not an excuse to hide our beliefs. Neither is a job. While we must follow rules about solicitation and proselytizing, we can still boldly represent Christ through our lives.
The question for me is why Christians are so desperate to sell magazines or gain publicity that they are willing to put any random person who says the word Jesus on the cover of a magazine? This is not written in judgment of Mrs. Gosselin. I don't know what she believes. Kate Gosselin is not being singled-out. There have been others on the cover that have made me wonder how or why they were chosen.
However, I would rather see an unknown woman who has constantly shown her love for Christ and others everyday, than an overhyped celebrity who accidentally spoke Christ's name and was catapulted to instant Christian. It is a privilege to be called a follower of Christ, therefore we should use caution when bestowing that title.
I "witnessed" the Cavaliers disgraceful defeat by the Magic on Saturday night with a house-full of family. At the end, I sighed with relief. It's not that I wanted them to lose, especially being a native Ohioan, but I was tired of the hype. I've been a part of the inconsistent thrill-ride with Cleveland sports for so long. They just have a way of disappointing. I'm just not die hard enough, I guess.
What caught my attention was the lack of post-game interview by the star Lebron James. Donned King James by some person unknown to me, he's been in front of the camera throughout his career. After this defeat, he performed a magic trick and disappeared from sight. It was very noticeable. SportsCenter seemed to notice, too. Questions were asked.
So I asked a couple of my own. Why did he skip the interview? My first thoughts are that he was embarrassed and angry. I believe that to be true. Then I wondered if that was the right thing to do. When you are paid millions of dollars to do a job, do you get the blow off the fans and refuse an interview?
Personally, I'm not a fan of many athletes or celebrities. It's not "hating", as my brother would say, but I simply feel they act like spoiled brats. They have more money and possessions than any of us could ever dream of, but they whine like tired infants. I believe that they have certain responsibilities based upon their blessings. Because, whether or not they acknowledge the source of their wealth, God allowed it. Because of this, they should act with class. To whom much is given, much is required. Luke 12:48
Are we asking a lot for them to submit to inquiries and pictures? After all, without the interest of fans, they would be broke like the rest of us. I personally don't feel sorry for them. The lifestyle is a chosen one. None of them would be willing to give it up to live like every man, so suck it up. So there.
Since this is my third child, I'm struggling with finding a creative way to commemorate this pregnancy. With the first, we had a photo session. The second, my mom and I created a belly cast. So why not do a nude photo shoot this time?! Wrong! Not ever going to happen.
But, it seems I'm in a minority with this thinking. Someone showed me a website for a metropolitan photographer who specializes in family and maternity photos. The picture contained partial frontal nudity for the woman and rear nudity for the man. Why?
I'm a firm believer in the beauty of pregnancy, but I'm still the same woman. If I won't take nude pics without a baby bump, why does the bump make it acceptable? The pictures I saw showed far more than the belly. When does nudity transcend from porn to art?
Tyler Frost, an Ohio high school senior, was recently suspended, according to a Yahoo story. He is not permitted to take his finals on time, and subsequently will not graduate with his classmates. Pretty steep punishment. If you're like me, you want to know what this delinquent boy did to deserve this sentence. Trust me, there were no bomb scares or threatening others. He danced.
I listened to an interview the young man gave to CBS's The Early Show. The gist of the story is that the kid attends a Heritage Christian School in Findlay,OH. He received an invitation from his girlfriend to attend her prom at another school. He needed permission from his principal. It is apparent that Frost knew there was a chance he would not be allowed to graduate if he went. The school is said to have a policy against dancing.
During the interview, Frost stated that he enjoyed himself and feels it was worth the risk. He also believed the school's policies should not apply to activities not on school grounds. When asked about his faith, he says that he still considers himself to be a Christian and lives by the principles he's been taught at his school. Another article from the Toledo Blade goes into more detail about the school's position. There's also a response to the media attention on the school's website.
I don't want to comment just yet. I would really like to hear from all of you and then engage in a dialogue. Please weigh in.
I'm sure many of you have heard of Twilight, the movie and books. Apparently it's a phenomenon that I have missed. Since I know little about this, I Googled it and read a synopsis for the movie. It's about a girl who falls in love with a vampire who doesn't feed on humans, but I think he's missing his favorite treat a bit. Anyway, it has many girls and women going wild.
My husband was sharing a a story he read about a middle-aged, married mother who is obsessed with this Edward character. She hears the theme music in her head, she's seen the movie multiple times. She lusts after this young man, and compares him to her husband. She is questioning their marriage and his affection for her.
Without trying to sound self-righteous, I find this scary. When fantasy overtakes reality and has a woman questioning her real-life husband, there's a real problem. I will venture and say, I think this fixation on something so dark is dangerous. I honestly feel that this fictional series is being used by the father of lies to distort the minds and hearts of girls and women about true love.
I'm truly at a loss. There is so much emptiness in our world. Hearts are searching for love and acceptance in any way. Even fantasy. I'm sad. Why do we choose counterfeit love over the real, true love that only comes from God. The unconditional, free gift. He stands and begs to love us, and we turn Him away. Jesus died for each of us. Unconditionally. He did not know me, and I did not love Him, but He did it anyway. That's real love. We need only to accept it. No strings.
I won't say much because this topic is already getting too much airtime. However, I stumbled onto a great article about the slap on the wrist Phelps just received. A 3 month ban from swimming when he isn't actually swimming right now! If you're gonna take the time to punish someone, make it count. Otherwise, leave it alone. Click here to read the article written by Yahoo sports writer, Dan Wetzel.
Regarding the moral or social implications, here's a great blog post that wraps it up very succinctly.
As a mom of two young children, I strive very hard to be their role model. As much as I enjoyed Phelps' awesome run in China, I do not want my children looking to him or any other unknown person. And while I know they will be influenced by the media influx, it's my job to rear them, not celebrities and their manufactured personae. Let me know what you think.
